"MOM!!!! Come and see this!" Yelled on the top of the lungs, through the house.
"I want my mom!!!" Said when child gets hurt.
"Who is her mother?" Asked at a doctor's office.
"I am."
"I don't want you to do it, I want my mom to do it." Said at a friend's house.
"Mommmmmmmmyyyyyy" Said after not seeing mom due to a day at school.
"That's my mom!" Said with a note of claim to a friend.
What do the above scenarios have in common? They were all scenarios that would put a knife through my heart before we were gifted children by God.
I would hear this day in and day out as a teacher and as a person who had friends that were moms long before me.
So often I would hear a child exclaim excitement that only mom was allowed share in it first.
Seeing my friend busy, I would offer to help a child, only to be told that I am not allowed to by the child because I was not his mom.
I would see the glee on my students' faces whenever mom walked into the classroom. Up until that point, I was everything. But once mom walked in, I got bumped.
I have overheard the pride in a child's voice when they laid claim of their mother to their new found friends at the playground.
Not every time, but many a time, it would twist my gut. It was so painfully obvious that no matter how much I loved the little people in my life, and they loved me - my nieces, my nephews, my students, my friends' kids - when it came down to it, I just was *not* their mom.
Don't get me wrong - that excitement for their mom was rightly placed. That need of wanting only mom to help was normal and expected. Despite it often hurting so much that I was naturally bumped, I was also thankful to witness this relationship between a mother and her child. It made me long for it as well.
That is why now my heart is often in my throat. My eyes are often flooded. My breath is snatched away from me.
By the grace of God, all those scenarios mentioned above, plus so, so many more, now include ME and my children.
When Keziah comes off the bus or meets me at school and cries out, "Mommmmmmyyyy!!", I am still struck with "Is a child really calling out to me?! Really?! My very own?!".
When Lincoln is tired, or lonely, or nervous and all he wants is me, his mom, I can't help but take him up in my arms.
When we are walking in a parking lot, and both children quietly slip their little hands into mine, I want the time to stop so that I can just savour this moment for longer.
And when I tuck them into bed one last time before I go to bed, and they sleepily look up and say, "Mom. I love you." with sweet-smelling breath, my heart lodges in my throat and tears form in my eyes, and I just want to snuggle them forever.
Yes, God has blessed me beyond measure in many things, one of them being my children. He has used my children to bring me closer to Him, to look to Him for wisdom, encouragement and strength.
I pray daily for those who find themselves hurting, outside of the above scenarios, praying, wishing, desiring to one day have their own mother-child scenes, or scenarios that include more than one child. May God be your source of comfort.
I praise and thank God for these treasured gifts and continue to pray that He may bless me as their mother - that I may do my best to teach, guide and nurture these two blessings to the honour and glory of His Name. I certainly mess up many times (as you will know by reading this blog), however, with the help of God, my dear husband and lots of forgiveness and grace mixed in there, we are able to enjoy so many scenarios that build up our relationship between mother and children. How blessed am I!
