It's All Fun and Games Until......

......someone gets hurt.

On Sunday, after church, Lincoln was running around while us adults socialized. It's hard to keep kids from running when they've been sitting for an hour and a half in church!! Well, Lincoln ran into somebody that was a wee bit bigger than him, and so got the brunt of it - a fractured elbow!

He didn't cry much, but he has a very high tolerance of pain. He became as white as a ghost (even whiter than he usually is!) and started to shake. We took him home to check out his arm, and well, let's say it didn't take us long to figure out what we had to do - off to the hospital!

Not sure if you can tell in the picture (I can tell because I know where to look), but his elbow swelled up pretty quickly and the inside of his arm was cut and swollen as well. The back of his elbow started to turn purple too.

He is *such* a tough cookie......giving a ready smile and charming the x-ray techs and others that dealt with him

The x-rays revealed, well not a whole lot due to the amount of swelling and fluid. The doctor though said that due to the symptoms and how the elbow looks, it is fractured. We are to go back in a week to the Fracture Clinic (do they have one at Sick Kids?! 'Cause that's where we'll be with Keziah for a few days for her surgery!) so they can take more x-rays once the swelling goes down, and then be able to get a better look as to how fractured it is and where exactly is the fracture, as the elbow has a few bones.

A popsicle fixes all owies :o)

For now, he is in a plaster splint and a sling. He can't be in a full cast because the swelling is too bad. Next week it'll come off for more x-rays and then a full cast for 6-8 weeks. Oh joy, oh bliss. I can't believe I am saying this, but boy am I thankful summer won't be here for awhile!!

Our little trooper!! He keeps telling me that it is starting to feel better so "can you take it off, mom?" Poor boy has no idea how long 6-8 weeks is......good thing kids are quite adaptable!

PS. So thankful for my mom, as well as others who offered, for stepping in right away to look after our other blessing. She'll have her turn in the hospital next week.......we should just move in there next week!!

Before and After (from a long time ago!!)

So, on the second last day of the year, we celebrated a birthday here in our home - Mr. Lincoln's. While I did write a blog post about it, I neglected to add pictures of his cake. Going back through pictures, I noticed this and remembered that I had taken before and after pictures of his cake and have yet to post them!

So while they are 3 months old, here is a Before and After of his cake:

Needless to say, while it wasn't his requested dinosaur cake, he was absolutely THRILLED with this cake. He still talks about it to this day. In fact, it is someone's birthday tomorrow, and he thinks I should make that person a tractor cake as well! While I love the colour green, I think I'll pass on making myself a tractor cake :o)

And now some other pictures yet from his birthday:

With 3 months under our belt with a 3 year old, we are surviving. Barely, but we are. Whoever coined the phrase Terrible Twos certainly did this before they dealt with a three year old!! 3 (and 4) was tough for our darling girl, and 3 is proving to be tough on our handsome boy as well. I call it the Tormenting Threes. They are wanting more independence, and feel they need to share their opinion all day long, whether they like something or not (usually not). Oh, and in between all the "I do it!!" and "I don't want that!!", there is the "Why, mom?" Why is it winter? Why is it cold? Why is daddy at work? Why you ask me to do this? Why I have to listen? Why? Why? WHY?!?!

He made up for his antics the other day. We were in the doctor's office, looking at pictures. He saw a picture of a beautiful woman and said, "She's pretty." and then "Is that you, mom?"

Ah, bless his heart. He is once again my perfect little angel. Cough, cough :o)

Finally!!! Christians Get Depressed Too - Final Chapter and Book Review

Well, after searching for not too long, I found the book back (note to self: put the folded laundry away right away!!), however what's been harder to find is time!

I do have some now, so here is the final blog post on the book, Christians Get Depressed Too by David Murray.

Appendix - On the Sufficiency of Scripture: Salvation, Sanctification, and Spectacles

Summary
Murray uses this space to let us know that while the Bible does not give detailed guidance on every moral and spiritual issue (can you imagine how large a book it'd be?!), we are not left hanging. In fact, Murray (using the Westminster Confession) says the teachings in the Bible are fivefold:

1. the Bible's instruction is exact and precise
2. if the Bible does not have a particular verse for a specific situation, we must reason and apply from general principles, also known as the instruction of "good and necessary consequence"
3. God uses secondary areas of knowledge in the human community that we may go to seek advice from, known as "sanctified common sense" or "light of nature"
4. While the Bible does not cover any subject exhaustively, it covers all things "necessary for God's glory, man's salvation, faith and life". The Bible tells us everything we need to know, but it does not tell us everything there is to know. pg. 104
5. To understand the Scripture as the Gospel, we need the Holy Spirit to help us.

Murray then tackles two from the above list, number 2 and number 3.

"Good and Necessary Consequence"

• we may not find an answer in the Bible to our specific situation, we will find guidelines/principles that we can apply, as well as prayer
• Eg. "What job will I do?" - nowhere in the Bible will it tell you specifically which job you should take, but there are sufficient general guidelines to use to help you make a decision, like, will the job allow me to use the gifts God has given me? Will the hours hinder or help in my service for God? Will it provide enough for my family and others?

"The Light of Nature"

• Murray reminds us that although the Scriptures is sufficient, that doesn't mean God hasn't placed wise and knowledgeable people amongst us. In fact, He has! But as he quotes from John Piper, he reminds us that "all other knowledge stands under the judgment of the Bible."
• Murray also quotes John Calvin, who used the illustration of 'spectacles': "The Bible is not only what we read, but what we read with."

So, knowing then that the truth about salvation and salvation is set in Scriptures, as well as knowledge from this world that must be checked by Scriptures, this proves that Scripture is "everything (needed) pertaining to life and godliness" 2 Peter 1:3.

Murray ends his book, confirming that the Bible "tells us where we are and where to go and provides all the essential markers to get us there.....we, therefore, plot our course in this world with the chart of Scripture in our hands and the compass of the Holy Spirit in our hearts."

My Thoughts (of this and whole book)
I really enjoyed this appendix. After reading it, I was once again faced with the feelings of such thankfulness for the gift of His Word, and the sufficiency of It.

As for the whole book, I must say I learned a lot. I recognized some aspects of what he wrote in myself. For example, I was parenting solo last week. It was amazing how many "false thought patterns" that entered my head when I was starting to feel overwhelmed. By God's grace, using this book and the Holy Spirit, I was able to recognize some of these thoughts (eg. I am a useless mother and do such a crappy job of it) and pray about them.

I found Murray to be solid in the Scriptures, which is always such a good foundation. I also enjoyed his frankness, not beating around the bush at times, especially when speaking of whether it is unbelief in God that is a reason of/for depression.

I would certainly recommend this book, and have already since I've read it.

Your Thoughts
So. What did you think? Did you enjoy the book (or, as some of you said....you don't have the book but read the summaries)? Would you recommend this book to anyone? What was your "take home" of this book?

Prayer Points:

• for all those who are suffering from depression and anxiety
• for wisdom to know how to care and be there for those placed on my path
• thankfulness for the fact that God has given the gift of the Scriptures
• thankfulness for His mercy, grace and peace
• thankfulness for people like David Murray
• that what I have learned from this book I may be able to apply in my life

Seeing as this is it, that means we have come to the conclusion of our 2nd Book Talk. I thank you very much for following along, whether by reading the book or the summaries. I hope it was beneficial to you as it has been for me. May God bless you in whatever situation you may find yourself in! And may you continue to look in His Word for guidance in this life.

Book Talk: Christians Get Depressed Too

So, um, yeah. I have a confession to make. I kind of can't really find my book to write up the last review. Embarrassing?! Yes, just a little. Well, actually, a lot, considering I am the host of this Book Talk thing, so yeah, a little ashamed that I can't find the book to do this.

Am I redeemed a little in your eyes if I say that I did read that last chapter?! I did......last week, before I wrote up the review for last week. Do you think I can remember much of it?! Not near as much as I would like!!

I do remember that Murray quoted a lot from the Westminster Catechism, leaving me with the truth that I really don't know the differences between that confession and ours, the Heidelberg Catechism and that I should be doing something about that. I also do remember underlining with my pencil while I read. A lot. Possibly the whole chapter?!

So I'll give myself a few days yet to find the book, and hopefully do a proper review of that last chapter........unless one of you want to write one?! :o)

Marching on in March

Nathan's gone for the next 5 days, so to combat my loneliness, I shall play catch-up on my blog. It certainly has been lacking in pictures, thoughts and whatever else I used to fill this space with! I was looking back at pictures while I did the kids' photo albums, and man there's a lot of pictures that never made it here. Really, it's not *that* big of a deal but there are some I still like to share, even if they were taken almost 3 months ago! Actually, I have pictures of taking the kids to the zoo from last summer that never made it here!

I shall start though with the most recent - pictures from the first half of March. That's right, March is halfway over! Camping is booked, the snow is melting, the kids have been enjoying some much needed Vitamin D and fresh air. And in between all that, we are busy with the following:

Playing together:

Having fun acting like farm animals:

 

Cleaning a ceiling fan. Don't judge. Just be thankful with us that we never choked on a dust bunny while we slept......

 

Snuggling with mom way past bedtime, trying to convince her that someone is growing out of naps:

Baking bread:

 

Playing cars wif daddy:

Skating with cousins......which was fun, but playing on the nearby snow bank was way more fun!!

Riding bikes:

Snuggling with dear ones:

Watching TV, sitting like they are attached at the side (which they really are....these two are so close). Love them so incredibly much.

And lastly, still busy trying to convince mom that someone doesn't need afternoon naps anymore.....'cause this sure won't convince her! It'll melt her, but not convince her!

Book Talk: Christians Get Depressed Too

Chapter 6 – The Caregivers

Summary:

On to the last chapter of David Murray’s book, where he writes about the caregivers in a depressed person’s life: family, friends and church family. While these people most likely have no medical history, they play a key role in helping someone who is depressed. Murray then lists 10 areas that caregivers need to consider when trying to help a depressed person get better:

1.      Study

·         Caregivers need to educate themselves about depression, using Jesus’ example in dealing with the downtrodden

·         Murray also recommends a number of books:

Ø  I’m Not Supposed to Feel Like This by Chris Williams, Paul Richards, and Ingrid Whitton

Ø  Overcoming Spiritual Depression by Arie Elshout

Ø  Broken Minds by Steve and Robyn Bloem

·         He also recommends the following books, but with caution

Ø  Spiritual Depression by Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Ø  Mind over Mood by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky

Ø  Blame It on the Brain? and Depression: A Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch

2.      Sympathy

·         “ability to communicate that we truly understand the problem and the symptoms, that we are deeply concerned, and that we will do all that we can to help.” Pg. 90

·         Murray reminds us that it could very well be one of us in the same position, suffering!

3.      Support

·         Being there, listening and talking with the person who is struggling

·         Means unconditional love, even when the loved one turns on you

·         Help practically (babysitting or take loved one out for a day)

·         Remain loyal

·         The church needs to establish a culture where problems are okay! Everyone has them from time to time, and so we all need to support each other, starting from the top (leaders)

4.      Stigma

·         Following the above steps will help the caregiver recognize the stigmas attached to depression, and so not be ignorant or crass when someone is struggling with depression

5.      Secrecy

·         It often takes a great amount of courage for someone who is struggling with depression to confide in someone (thanks to the stigmas)

·         Recognize this then, and maintain strict confidence

6.      Self-Esteem

·         Due to self-doubt and self-criticism, people with depression have low self-esteem

·         As caregivers, Murray encourages us to help them view themselves in light of their God-given abilities, their worth to others and value to the church

·         Murray recognizes that we as Christians hesitate to “pat ourselves on the back”, but he gives 1 Cor. 15:10 as an example of humility with a healthy opinion of one’s accomplishments. The key is humility

7.      Subjectivism

·         Focussing on feelings and then coming to beliefs due to those feelings is a common trait in those who have depression

·         As caregivers, Murray tells us we need to encourage them to step away from subjection, and focus on objective truths of Christianity, truths regardless of feeling: justification, adoption, atonement, God’s attributes

8.      Speak

·          Listen much, speak little

·         Murray gives a list of what not to say. Here are a few that stuck out to me:

Ø  Pull yourself together

Ø  You’ll get over it soon

Ø  It’s a sin to be depressed

Ø  Smile, it can’t be that bad

Ø  Well, things could be worse

9.      Suicide

·         If a caregiver suspects their loved one is contemplating suicide, Murray says to ask carefully and wisely what they are thinking and if they have a plan. If there is a plan already, seeking professional help is vital

·         Murray then lists a number of reasons that Pastor Steve Bloem (Broken Minds) would think of to not go through with suicide. Again, here are some reasons that stood out to me:

Ø  The devil will be pleased

Ø  Family and friends will be devastated

Ø  The plan might not work, which  may leave you disabled

Ø  There *is* help available

Ø  If you do not know of Christ, and believe in Him, you will go to hell

Ø  God will keep you until the day is reached when pain will be no more

10.  Slow

·         Murray reminds the caregivers that there are no easy answers or quick fixes, as it can take months, even years, to overcome depression

·         Be patient and recognize that there very well may be relapses

·         Continue to pray for our loved ones, bringing them before God’s throne of grace

Murray concludes the chapter going back to the thought that God will sometimes use depression to bring an unconverted person to Him. Murray encourages his unconverted readers then to look to God, to repent and recognize the need for a Saviour. He reiterates that this doesn’t mean it’ll solve the depression, but that it’s just a good starting point.

My Thoughts:

I again enjoyed this chapter. I found a few things striking and have given me a lot of thought. The first one was Murray’s statement under the heading of Secrecy. He writes: There must be no “sanctified” gossip: I’m just telling you this so that you can pray about it. Wow. Isn’t that the truth – how often we share something that was told in confidence, thinking it’s okay to share so others can also pray. I LOVE how he calls that ‘sanctified’ gossip. That really made me think.

The other thought I found striking, and rather blunt, was his last statement (when speaking of the unconverted): Pills might get you through this world, but they will not be available in hell, the place of ultimate torment, despair and gnashing of teeth. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved” Acts. 16:31. I found it an odd way to end, yet thought-provoking. In fact, that statement can be said about anything, by replacing the word ‘pills’ to anything else we look to, to get us through, whether that be alcohol, food, people’s opinions, you name it, anything that keeps us from looking to the True Healer.

Your Thoughts:

Was there anything Murray wrote in this chapter that struck a chord with you? Does he give the caregivers practical ways to help a loved one struggling with depression?

Prayer Points:

·         For all caregivers: family and friends that have found themselves with a loved one with depression

·         For those who are depressed to find that person to confide in

·         To first look to God for help, recognizing He is there for them

·         Thankfulness for God’s grace

·         For wisdom, to know when to ask for profession help for a loved one

·         Thankfulness for the many ways God has provided help

Next Time:

David Murray ends the book with a few words on The Sufficiency Of Scripture. I will touch upon that as well as an overall review of the book. And then that’s it!

Thanks again for your comments and observations. I enjoy them!!

Drip!

Do you hear it?! Do you hear it?!?! It is a sound we have not heard since, well, last March!! It is a sound that is so welcomed, with arms wide-opened.

That sound my friends, is the sound of snow melting. Of it dripping.

When I first heard it, I thought the sound was coming from our noses as we have been dealing with something nasty melting in our nasal cavity (just what you wanted to read......gross!!). But then, as our noses went from dripping to streaming, I *still* heard the sound of drip, drip, drip. And that is when I discovered it was coming from outside. I went out to explore, and wouldn't you know. Not only am I hearing a sound I haven't heard in almost a year, I saw something I haven't seen in a long time either!! Thank you, Septic Bed!

Ah, the signs of Spring. Always so embraced, especially after a month of where the average temperature was -22. The last few days we have been on the other side of 0 - the positive side!! So exciting!

But there is still a lot of snow out there to melt, which is great. Now that the temperatures are at a place where I can send the kids out to play and know that they won't lose a finger or nose tip due to the frigid air, they have been enjoying some time outdoors.

So as you can see, the snow has a ways to go before it is all gone. It actually has 2.5 weeks to disappear, as we have friends coming from Out West (where they have been cutting the grass already!!) and they will be staying in our trailer for two weeks.

Speaking of our trailer - two camping trips are booked already! Yahoo!!!!

Christians Get Depressed Too - Chapter 5

Chapter Five: The Cures

Summary:

So far, David Murray has written about the crisis, the complexity, the condition, and the causes of depression. He moves on in Chapter 5 to write about some cures of depression. But before he writes about a single cure, he asks a question that we must ask of ourselves, or of one that is depressed: “Do you want to be made whole?”. Of course, we say! But then are we taking the necessary steps to be made whole? Or have we gotten used to living with the problem? Given up hope? No will to play a part in the healing process? Frightened of what living whole will mean and look like? Miss the attention/sympathy? Murray clearly states that there is no hope of recovery if the depressed person does not want to play a role in recovery.

Now that he has that on paper, he moves onto 4 measures, parts of a “package” of healing:

1.       Correct Your Lifestyle – to lead a balanced lifestyle, so as not to stretch beyond what we can handle

·         Routine: restore order, discipline and structure, which rebuilds a sense of purpose

·         Relaxation: take time to pause, seek God (Jesus did), re-learn to breathe properly

·         Recreation: moderate exercise, especially outdoors if possible

·         Rest: make a bedtime routine; appreciate the gift of Sundays

·         Reprioritize: examine life and find ways to reduce commitments and obligations

2.       Correct Your False Thoughts – identify/examine thoughts and then challenge the false and unhelpful ones, using a Thought Investigation Questionnaire. Murray uses Ps. 77 as a true Bible-based Christian experience of doing just that, where Asaph examines his thoughts:

·         His life situation – Time? Place? People? Events?

·         His feelings – Sum up my mood in one word or more if needed, rating the intensity using percentage (eg. Angry – 90% of the time)

·         His thoughts – What am I thinking of at this time? About myself? Others? The present? The future?

·         His analysis – Identify false/unhelpful thinking patterns (eg. Extremes, generalizations, false filter)

·         His behaviour – Impact of the above and my relationship with others. Any activity I’ve stopped or started?

Asaph then challenges his own thoughts

·         His reasons – Why do I believe the thoughts I listed in Step 3? Evidence to support?

·         His challenge – List evidence/reasons against thoughts in Step 3

·         His conclusion – Come to a balanced conclusion, one that is truthful and helpful

·         His new feelings – Copy some or all of the feelings from Step 2 and rate them again

·         His plan – How will I put the balanced conclusion into practice?

3.       Correct Your Brain Chemistry – Murray encourages the depressed person to seek medical help if assessing feelings and thoughts does not work. Before meeting the doctor, write out symptoms. Educate yourself with the myths and false ideas of anti-depressants. Murray though warns to remember that anti-depressants shouldn’t be seen as a cure-all

4.       Correct Your Spiritual Life – the spiritual consequences and spiritual causes.

 

Correcting spiritual consequences:

 

·         Depression is not necessarily a sin

·         Depression has caused a general loss in all aspects of life, not just your spiritual life

·         Be patient, as you correct your lifestyle, thoughts and/or brain chemistry

·         Set (realistic) time for Bible reading and praying

·         Remember verses that remind you of God’s love, mercy, and grace

·         Be honest with God when you pray – speak your feelings honestly to Him

·         Keep going to church, to be under His Word, as well as fellowship. Stay in contact with one or two close sympathetic Christians you can trust

·         Remember God loves you

Correcting the spiritual causes:

·         Examine your life, and if there is a particular sin that you are ignoring, repent

Murray concludes the chapter, encouraging his readers to not take on too much, but with someone’s help, sit down and make a list of areas you want to work on; then pick just one at a time to focus on. He ends, reminding us to pray for God’s help and His blessings. He also gives out a template of what Asaph did, but one that we can fill out ourselves (Thought Investigation Questionnaire)

My Thoughts:

First of all, you know how many times I have typed out “Andy” Murray instead of David Murray?! Yes, I enjoy watching tennis :o). Anyway, back to the chapter. I do love how Murray starts out, rather blunt, but so true: Do you want to be whole? I think that is a very good reflective question. I also like his Thought Investigation Questionnaire, again loving that he used a Biblical example to fill it out.

Your Thoughts:

What did you think of Murray’s cures of depression? Valid? Is he off the mark or missing something? Any other cures you have experienced or know of that have helped you or a loved one?

Prayer Points:

·         To want to be whole

·         For strength and will-power to fulfill the responsibility of recovery

·         To recognize the necessity to fill out the questionnaire

·         For those who are on my path that are struggling with depression

·         To help me remember this chapter when someone has confided in me

·         Thankfulness for many godly examples in the Bible that God has given us

·         Thankfulness for His love, grace and mercy

Next Time:

Next week Thursday, we will move on to Chapter Six – The Caregivers, the last chapter of this book!

See you then, well, probably before then. Time for some pictures again, no? :o) Hopefully in the next days or so, we will have something lighter to read, and some pictures to browse through. Until then, have a blessed weekend, and may you enjoy a well-rested Sunday, one that glorifies God and our neighbour. Thanks again for reading!