Sigh. Sigh. And Triple Sigh.

It's Tuesday evening. My hubby is gone for the week. My Blue Jays are getting absolutely spanked. And the Leader of my country has gone from someone I was thankful to have at the helm (even if he wasn't perfect) to someone who makes me embarrassed I am a Canadian.

So how is your week going for you?!

Sigh.

I know.....really, that my Blue Jays got royally beat up (pun intended....) is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Actually, it's not even a deal in the grand scheme of things. So, who cares about them? Well, I kind of still do......but not when I put things into perspective.

And, really, my husband is gone for 4 nights. That's it! Just 4 nights! Yes, he was gone last week for 3 nights and now 4 nights, but really, to put it blunt: he's not dead! I am not a widow!! Not a big deal then in the grand scheme of things. So do I have a right to sigh?! Sort of......but not when I put things into perspective.

Now, to our new Prime Minsiter. Mr. Justin Trudeau.

Marks for good looks? Ummm, maybe 7 out of 10.....if this is what turns your crank.

Marks for Politic knowledge? Can one give a negative?!

My, oh my. Certainly a bigger deal than the Blue Jays winning or losing, or my hubby being gone for 4 nights. When I think of the future with him as our leader, sitting with the bigwigs of other countries like Putin, Obama and others, I can't help but shudder, wince and hang my head in shame.

How is it that Canadians elected someone to lead their country who has zero, that's right, ZERO!!! experience in politics other than living in the Prime Minister's home when his father was Prime Minister?!?! (and don't Canadians remember when his dad was Prime Minister and the damage he did......interest rates, anyone?) I mean, really, I don't even hire someone inexperienced to babysit my kids!! Let alone lead my country! Have we not all applied for jobs where the term "Experience Needed" is mentioned first and foremost?!

What were we Canadians thinking?!

Oiy.

Time for perspective again, or I will sit here, dwelling and disbelieving, become negative and grumpy, which is just not healthy. Or the way God wants me to live. Oh, that's right - God. Wait a minute - there's the perspective: It's actually not Mr. Justin Trudeau in control, my God is the One who has it all in His hands! He is the One who has given Trudeau the authority of leading this country (whether Trudeau recognizes it or not). It is God, our King and Ruler Supreme who has a plan for this country, and maybe that plan is for us Christians to get off our butts (those of us who are sitting on them) and get a voice! We need to be heard! We need to do something. It is time, it is time!!

So, with remembering verses like the ones below, I shall ask for forgiveness of not doing enough. I shall remember and take comfort in the fact that we all have a King to answer to, even Mr. Trudeau. I shall ask for the Spirit's help in not putting my trust in the economy, or platforms, or governing rulers, but only in our God. And I shall not only pray for me, but for all Canadians, including Trudeau. Certainly not our choice of a leader, but a choice has been made, and I must respect that. I pray he will begin to recognize Who put him in this tremendous task of leading our country, Canada.
:
Ps. 72: 8: He will rule from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth. 

Ps. 2:  Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? 2 The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the LORD and against his Anointed One. 3 "Let us break their chains," they say, "and throw off their fetters." 4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. 5 Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, 6 "I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill." 7 I will proclaim the decree of the LORD: He said to me, "You are my Son; today I have become your Father. 8 Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession. 9 You will rule them with an iron scepter; you will dash them to pieces like pottery." 10 Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of the earth. 11 Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling. 12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

Ps. 146: 3-6:  Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. 4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. 5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, 6 the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever. 

Ruler supreme, who hearest humble prayer,
Hold our Dominion, in thy loving care.
Help us to find, O God, in thee,
A lasting rich reward.
As waiting for the better day,
We ever stand on guard.
God keep our land, glorious and free.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!

Hello, 2015!! And Blog Goals.....

And here she is! 15 years after the big ol' scare of Y2K......the switch from 1999 to 2000. Back then questions of 'how will our technology be able to handle the two 00's at the end' and 'is this when the world comes to an end'? plagued many minds.

And yet the world has kept turning 15 years later. And could for another 15 years, or 150 years, or 150,000 years! Who knows? But maybe this year, 2015, will be The Year - The Year that our Lord returns. Are you ready? Am I?? Such an exciting prospect, really. This year could very well be the year. But it might not be. God knows.....and we don't. All we know is our Messiah has not come riding on the clouds yet to call us Home eternally, so what are we doing with our time while we wait?

With the potential of a full year ahead of us, it can all be exciting. This is a new feeling for me at the start of a new year. Usually I am leery....remembering all the unknowns I didn't know last year at this time of what will happen in the year that we just entered. Unfortunately, I often spent time contemplating the many sorrows and disappointments, shocks, and hurts of the past year rather than balancing it out by thinking of the many abundant blessings received! So this year, I prayed that my normal 'foreboding' be replaced by peace....that I may enter this year knowing that each and every moment is in God's hands. I pray that this knowledge may give you comfort as well....that nothing happens by chance. Studying the Bible book, Esther, with other ladies in the church for Bible Study has definitely helped in my perspective this time around. I am thankful to God for this.

So, 2015. What now? Time for resolutions? Time for goals? Big, small? Personal ones? Ones that need help in order to be completed?

I'll be honest - I am not a resolution type person. My need/want for perfectionism gets in the way and so it just all becomes quite an unpleasant experience. So no year long resolution here from me. I prefer to make daily ones.....that just seems a bit more achievable for me.

But there are a few things I'd like to do this year, especially with the blog. Here are some things:

• I'd like to do another Book Talk. I mentioned it a few months ago, and I am thinking February may be a good month to do this. I did get a few suggestions, and I am going with one that I think is a definite must read for ALL. The book is short, to the point and very beneficial. Oh, and choosing it for February also makes the book very timely. What's the book, you say?

 

So go order yours now (I ordered mine through Amazon.ca. or you can find it on Amazon.com). I like to start the Book Talk the first week of February. So that gives some time for it to be ordered and delivered. I really do hope you will join me in this.

 

• I also would like to do a Photography Challenge one of these months. I have a few ideas. I love taking pictures and having a theme or focus is always nice.
• I do hope to keep up blogging this year again. Sometimes I get a little prideful, wondering who actually reads this blog, if any, and then I meet someone that reads my writing, loves looking at the pictures, but just is not one to comment. So, even if there are just a few readers, I get a lot of enjoyment out of writing and photography, and so I hope to continue (maybe this will be the year you let me know who you are that reads this thing?! ;o)

So, there you have it. Not really any resolutions.....just a few things I'd like to do this year with this space. Next week Nathan is gone most of the week, which leaves me with some pretty quiet evenings. You know what that means - catch up on here! And catch up is definitely needed, for not only have we entered a new year, our dear son has also entered into his fourth year a few days ago. Plus all the other things that have kept us busy in December, and lots of Before and Afters. But for now, I will leave you with this video.

 

Lincoln received some new tractors, combines and trucks. Here he is, playing with them with daddy, but not letting daddy touch them. Daddy was allowed to play with his new book and a blue car, but was *not* allowed to touch his new treasures. This video cracks us up. I am not sure what is funnier, when he takes the toy away from Nathan every time, or when he gives Nathan his new book to read instead, or when he tells Nathan he needs to stop and listen, or when he thanks Nathan at the end for playing with him. We laugh every time we watch this - I hope you enjoy it as well (it took 51 minutes to upload so you better watch it!! ;o).

 

 

Lincoln's New Toys

A Note of Thanks for Our Schools, As Well as a Petition.....

Now that the kids are getting somewhat older and most of Keziah's surgeries behind us, I have been able to be in the school environment a bit more since September. I have had the privilege of supply teaching a number of times, teaching students in Gr. 4, 5 and 6. Every Tuesday afternoon, I am also volunteering in a Gr. 3 and 4 classroom (our school is small, and so we have split grades).

I have found out, after a 5 year break, that the classroom is still where my heart is. Oh, how I love being with the students, teaching, sharing, guiding, learning and everything in between. Being in the classroom gives me such an adrenaline rush - it is hard to explain. I just love it. The best part though? Unlike 5 years ago, I come home to my *own* children rather than an empty house. Best of both worlds!!!

Now that I am in our schools off and on, I have come to recognize again how blessed we are to have our own schools (I always knew our schools were a blessing, but you really don't get it until you are in it). When I say "our own", what I mean is that the children and teachers that are at this school all come from the same spiritual foundations. These foundations are not only taught in church and in home, they are also taught in the school by staff that believe the very same foundations.

I don't know the exact number, but I believe we have something like 14 elementary schools just in southern Ontario.....plus a number in Manitoba, Alberta, British Columbia, The United States and Australia, to name a few. That's not counting all the interdenominational school......just schools that are from our churches.

In these schools, we are so blessed to have such dedicated staff and volunteers that care for our children, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. The love and care by the teachers that is distributed amongst our children is so evident.

The knowledge that we all, teachers, parents and students, are children of God, all belong to the covenant family, all are sinners in need of a Saviour, which has been given to us many, many years ago is something that should also be visible. It may not be so visible to the eye, but it is visible through 'feeling'. You can feel it through the hum, the cadence, the rhythm that is in the atmosphere.

How important it is then to fight for our private schools.....but it actually doesn't really doesn't stop there. We need to fight not just for our own schools, but also those around us, the public system.....especially here in Ontario. Why?

I just need to say one name: Kathleen Wynne. If you are not familiar with this name, she is our premier of Ontario. And boy, is she ever using her position of authority to drastically change a few things, one of them being a curriculum taught in the schools, namely the Sex Education Curriculum.

To give you an idea of what she is trying to do and then what YOU can do about it, I encourage you to read and watch the following links:

 http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/3900111008001

Arpa

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-graphic-revisions-to-ontarios-sex-education-curriculum.html

Sign the petition!!! Please!!

I know what you are thinking - but these changes won't affect us because we won't need to teach this exact curriculum due to our schools being private. Guess what?! It could very well affect us, because who knows how long we will be able to continue to teach our children in freedom! Who knows how long we will be able to keep our private schools! Who knows how far this premier will go as long as she has "power"!

So, please, take the two minutes and sign the petition.

And after that? Continue to pray for our schools; be thankful we still have the freedom to have our own schools and be ready to do what we can to keep it this way.

Oh, and one more thing - go thank a teacher. They are such gifts from the Lord that are placed in our lives to help us carry out the vows we made as parents at our children's baptism. And, if you have a moment, go early the next time to pick up your child and stand in the halls. Notice the pulse in your child's school, the underlying current that flows from one classroom to another. And praise God for this blessing: of our own schools.

Tough Yet Comforting Realites

"Mom, what day is it tomorrow?"

"Sunday."

"Oh."

And then after a very long pause, she whispers to me:

"I don't really like Sundays because it is so hard to sit still for so long."

This conversation didn't really surprise me. Actually, I am somewhat thankful that, while it took a bit, she felt comfortable to tell me something that she knew I would probably not really like to hear. It gave opportunity for a great discussion about the whys of Sundays.

Her opinion though has given me food for thought about God, my children and their walk with Him. If you talk to any Christian parent, their top goal in parenting is to teach their children about the Lord; that our children learn His ways. We pray daily that our children will grow up to know their Lord as their Saviour, and then to live a life of thankfulness to Him.

While we teach them about God, read the Bible daily, take time to teach the Bible stories, memorize a lot of the psalms/hymns that our church sings, send them to Christian schools, go to church joyfully every Sunday - despite doing all that and more, the tough reality is

I can't give my children faith.

I can't make sure that they will be in heaven.

I can't give them salvation because I can't save them!

Although I want them to be saved, the tough reality is I can't do it! I can't do the actual saving!

Oh, this can be so tough to swallow at times.......especially when we think by doing all the above will help them to gain entrance into heaven. But when this fact can be tough to swallow, it is time to sit back and re-evaluate, because that means the focus is all wrong. It is all on man.

And this is where this tough reality turns to a comforting one, because saving my children is not my job! And good thing - because I can't even save myself! No, saving my children is something that Someone has already done - Someone who was able to handle the burden of God's wrath on my (our) behalf, Someone who was blameless. Someone who is God.

That's not to say then, that we don't need to teach our children about God. On the contrary, we do need to instruct them. In fact, we are commanded  to train up our children in His ways, which is clearly stated in Deuteronomy 6: 6

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

We promised to do this when we had our children baptized as infants, with the vows of "I do" to 3 questions. But what a humble reminder that there is no Question 4 that goes along these lines:

"Do you, mother and father, promise to do all you can to save your children, so that they may be welcomed into heaven on account of how you parented them?"

What a relief that my children's salvation is not up to me. What a comfort it is to know that faith is a gift I can't give, but is a free gift given by our God.

May we then go forward, parenting our children according to the Scriptures, in the full realization that all we are, are instruments in God's hand.  May we then pray for the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom, guidance and encouragement as we raise His children.

Although we can't save our children, we can definitely pray for them!! May this prayer then be on our lips day in and day out:

Loving Shepherd of Thy sheep,
 All Thy lambs in safety keep;
Nothing can Thy power withstand,
None can pluck them from Thy hand.

May they praise Thee every day,
Gladly all Thy will obey;
Like Thy blessed ones above,
Happy in Thy precious love.

Loving Shepherd, ever near,
Teach Thy lambs Thy voice to hear;
Suffer not their steps to stray
From the straight and narrow way.

Where Thou leadest may they go,
Walking in Thy steps below;
Ten, before Thy Father's throne,
Saviour, claim them for Thine own.

Is He Even There?

In our church family, close to home and beyond, the last few months have had quite a theme. The theme hasn't been particularly pleasant. Rather, it can be rather dark, foreboding and leaves a hole.

Death.

I don't know what it is, maybe it's that I am getting older and know more people than I did 10 years ago, but it just seems like there are many families in the last months that have had to visit the graveside. In fact, awhile back there were at least 7, if not 8 loved ones that had passed away in a 2 week period. I have never visited a funeral home more than in those two weeks.

I know that death is inevitable. We are all going to die at some point - unless our Saviour comes riding on the clouds to call us home without us experiencing our own death.

I know that many in the last months have passed away after being sick, dealing with diseases that left them in a great deal of pain. What a comfort then it is to know that they passed away into glory, finally meeting their Maker, where they are no longer suffering.

However, despite all that, death is still a hard thing to swallow, no matter the circumstances. And it is at these times, when we are vulnerable, that the Doubt Door starts to nudge open. The Doubt starts to creep in, and as the Doubts grow, the door opens further as we go from "Why, God?" to doubting His plans, His love, and His providence.

You then hear what is all going on in the world: babies being killed by the 1000s every day even before they take a breath; Christians being killed for their beliefs; neighbours who live in the same country and spend all day and night bombing each other; such corrupt governments that it just sickens you; families being ripped apart; homes being levelled due to hurricanes/earthquakes; 1000s of people living in squalor conditions; airlines are being shot down....or disappear altogether. All this plus so much more can open the Doubt Door even more as you start to doubt God's sovereignty. And sometimes, even His existence.

It is at these times especially, that we recognize who is pushing that Doubt Door open. It is the prince of darkness - satan. He wants us to start to doubt our Creator, King and God. He loves it and will do everything he can to make sure that door stands wide open, keeping it open with a doorstop. Sometimes he doesn't even have to work hard to keep it open!

That is when we need to pray for eyes of faith, and see that we do have a God that cares; a God that not only created this world, but also maintains it.

It is vital that we see the means God has given to show to us that everything is under His authority - His Word and His creation. By reading His Word, we are comforted by the very fact that not only are we and the world are under His authority, so is the devil, who can not act without God's permission (see Luke 8: 26-33). What a comfort that is!

By surrounding ourselves with His creation, and praying for careful eyes, we will note quickly that we don't need to look very far at all to see that our God not only has authority, but that He exists.

We see His existence in the setting sun:

and in the moon shining so clearly and bright:

He is there in the flowers

and in the miracle of babies.

He is there when we take the time to enjoy the intricate details of the wild life He has created:

and in those He has given to us.

He is all around us, and cares for His creation. When the Doubt Door is ajar, and you start to question whether God really does care for His creation, remember the biggest Doubt buster ever: He sent His own beloved Son. For us, so that we may have salvation - the promise that we will leave this world filled with sorrow, and live forever with Him.

(the above picture of the cross is the only one not mine, but came from here)

 

Why would He do that if He didn't care? Why would He put His Son through such terrible circumstances, even forsaking Him, and then only to give up on His creation?

No. Slam that Doubt Door!! Use His creation and His Word to know that He is most certainly in control, has a plan, is working out this plan, and is King over all.

May this be a comfort to those who are burdened right now with sorrow, whether they are wiping away tears from recent events or things that have happened many years ago. May they continue to cling to His Word and the everyday proof around us; that there is a God, a God that is steadfast and unshakable, a God that lovingly wraps His arms around His people.

Thank you, Lord, for revealing to us in your Word and creation that you are There and that You Care.

Where Do you Go for Comfort?

What a week. It started off, celebrating our country's birthday as well as a great time enjoying fellowship with our extended church family at a well-organized and fun event.

Little did everyone know that the next day, a large part of our church family would be affected by a very serious accident.

On Wednesday afternoon, a mom and her 5 children were travelling in their van when the accident occurred. It has left the mother in an induced coma, in critical condition. Tragically, this accident has also taken the life of her oldest son who was 15 years old. Thankfully, the other 4 children came out alive, with the youngest one needing minor surgery.

Times like these, the verse from 1 Corinthians 12: 26 (ESV) rings so true:
"If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together."

Thankfully, those aren't the only words that ring so true in God's Word. So do the following words:

"But now, this is what the LORD says - he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour." Is. 43: 1-3.

We pray hard for this family, as they are now travelling a very difficult road. We praise God for His Word, that we may find comfort there. We are ever so thankful for the hope this family has with the fact that this young man has been taken up into glory. He suffers no more and will never suffer again.

And yet, while we may receive comfort from His Word, there is still a lot of grief and sorrow that the family is dealing with. Early next week they will be at the graveside to bury their beloved son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and friend.  May God surround this family, and all those who are suffering with them, in His loving arms. We know that God will walk with them, through this valley, because that is what He promises. May they feel His presence near each one of them.

Have you Heard the Good News?

As I sit here looking outside, I can't help but feel lighter. No, it's not because I've been able to control my urges for Cadbury mini-eggs (ha!!!), or that my mood is lighter because the sun is shining so brightly.

Actually, the reason why I feel so much lighter is because this weekend we get to reflect on this:

 

That's right! God sent His Son to die on the cross. For you and for me. He didn't do this because we are somewhat good people, people who do right things. Oh no! In fact, it is the complete opposite! We have nothing good in us! Even the nicest person on the earth is not good. I know, this is tough to hear this, but it is true. There is absolutely nothing we can do to save ourselves from our sins. Not a single good deed, generous donation, or going to church (even twice!) every Sunday. None of it will get us to heaven after we die. Even our best intentions are tainted in sin.

 

Thankfully though, we have a Father in heaven that knew this. He knew we needed a perfect and blemish-free Saviour. He knew there was no way we could save ourselves, even if we tried. And so He did something for us that demonstrates what True Love really is.

 

He sent His Son to pay for all our sins because He Loves Us.

 

God didn't have to do this. Nope, He could have left us to our own sinful devices, living with zero Hope, without the comfort of His promises. But despite the fact that we, with Adam, turned away from Him, He still allowed His blessed Son to be nailed on the cross to die for us, so that the relationship between God and us could be restored.

 

But that's not all! We can't just stay at the cross and leave it at that. Not only did He die for us, He also arose! He defeated Death! By doing that, not only are our sins forgiven, we may live today with the view to our future: living with Him eternally. 

Ah, such amazing Love. And how liberating - to know that it is not up to me to receive His promises; that it is not up to me to earn my way into heaven. We don't obey to go to heaven. It's the other way around: we obey today because we are going to heaven. And thankfully God has given His Spirit to make my heart one of obedience. Because naturally to obey is the last thing my heart wants to do.

Easter is always a good time to reflect on how I live my life - that I live out of thankfulness for what He has done for me many, many years ago on that very dark yet most amazing weekend. I pray that this reflection carries over throughout the year, not just on Easter.

And while Easter doesn't seem to receive as much attention as Christmas, Christmas means nothing if there is no Easter (a friend stated that, and it is SO true).

May you all have a blessed Easter, and may the events of Easter give you reason to live each day for Him.

Hypocrite

I knew it. I just knew it. I should have known I spoke too soon.

Remember my last post - about being thankful (and proud) for being sane at the end of the week? Well, it's

I pushed "Publish" too soon. About two hours later, late in the afternoon, it all fell apart. It's amazing how you can have such a great week, but then lose all of that in just 10 minutes or less. And that is exactly what happened.

I am sure you can imagine what it looked like, and so I will spare you all the details. This meltdown resulted in tears and apologies that needed to be said - mostly by the biggest kid. Me.

Those not-so-proud-mom moments seem to stick with me much longer than all the other enjoyable moments of the week, even working at erasing them. They keep me awake at night, as I wrestle with my failings as a mom.

If you aren't sure how you are fairing as a parent, just listen to your children for a bit,  how they interact with each other, how they handle stress, their reactions to a "no", their tone etc. They are such good "mirrors" - imaging what they see as examples. Us. After awhile, you will notice that they sound very much like us.

 Earlier in the week, I was chuckling as I overheard Keziah say to Lincoln:
"Lincoln, I told you to leave the door alone. You need to listen the first time."

Where do you think she heard that before?! It made me laugh to hear her!! It was somewhat gratifying, making me feel kind of proud, that she was parroting me.

But then, after the big meltdown Friday afternoon, just as Nathan walked in the door (of course!), I needed a time out, and so I sent myself to my room. Seriously.

And that is when I heard how else she sounded like me. And this time I was NOT chuckling. I was not proud. I did not feel honoured that she was a little me in those moments where things were out of her control.

Instead, I laid there, listening with shameful tears making wet trails down my cheeks. It was such a true and humble moment. I could not help but face the fact that she sounded like she did because she has learned from 'the best'.

And that left me this weekend with the question:

Why do I expect certain behaviours from my children when I don't even exhibit them myself?!

It is so true.  I expect my children to interact with each other respectfully and kindly. And if one is doing something that bothers the other, then words need to be used in a firm voice - definitely not by yelling at them. How am I doing with this? Just ask my children.

I expect my children to be able to handle that not everything goes their way. And if it doesn't, I expect them to handle it gracefully. Me? Fail.

I have often said to my children in stressful moments: you need to learn to handle it or toughen up. Ha. Ask my husband to see how I am faring with this (on second thought, please don't ask him).

See why I titled this post: Hypocrite?

So where does that leave us? To stew and label everything as failure? To give up? To throw my hands up in the air and say "I am not cut out for this, I don't know what I was thinking?" To wave the surrender flag and hide out under my covers?

No. None of that solves it, as we all know. Instead of focussing on the negative things we are teaching our children, or sit there smugly about the "positive" things they are learning from our influence, we can show to them that we also need help; that we cannot do this parenting thing on our own; that we need forgiveness, not just from them, but most especially from God.

I pray that the Lord will use these difficult moments on this journey of parenting, to teach my children that I am no better than them and that I need God just as much as I "preach" it to them that they need God.  I want them to know that I am not perfect. That doesn't mean putting myself down in front of them (that's one quick way to lose respect from my children!), but what I mean is, I want them to know that I cannot be the mother that I am called to be without the help of God. And that I am so totally dependent on Him. If I don't show them that I need God in my life, how are they going to learn that they need Him day by day?

Prayer is a powerful tool, one that we use numerous times throughout the day. And usually once things have calmed down after a big meltdown, we sit and chat together, speaking about what happened and what we can do with it. This conversation often leads to what we will pray for: forgiveness, help, wisdom and thankfulness for each other. And then we move on, resting in the comfort of the grace He has given us. That He has compassion on us by forgiving our shortcomings as parents. And when we realize the grace and mercy we've been given by our Father, we will be encouraged by the Holy Spirit to extend grace and mercy to our children as well.

Does that mean that is the end of meltdowns? That I have learned to be the perfect parent? That we always speak to each other calmly, and with a friendly tone, even when the other is frustrating us? That we all are now able to handle any bump in the road with the most graceful attitude?

Do I even need to answer these questions? If you want an answer, just be a fly on my wall for one day (and you thought I shared a lot on this blog - ha, believe or not, there's a lot that isn't mentioned :o), and you'll find out quick enough that God is continually teaching me to lean on Him, a lesson that needs to be repeated. Often.

But I wake up and start my day with these words, words I cling to:
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3: 22, 23

What Adoption Has Taught Us About Birth Parents....and Us!

Adoption has taught us that Birth Parents are real.

What I mean by 'real' is this: they have feelings. They have emotions. They love. They cry. They laugh. They hurt. They make mistakes. They are not perfect. They are someone's child. They sin. They were created by God. They belong on this earth just as much as you and I do.

I state these things because there are many out there who think differently of birth parents. There can be a stigma out there that birth parents are either prostitutes, teenage moms, druggies or alcoholics. They don't care. They are selfish. They are negligent. They are irresponsible, reckless,  and thoughtless. I mean, how else did they end up in the predicament they find themselves in, right? (note sarcastic tone here).

There are many out there who think it is wrong that birth parents place their children for adoption. That to place your child up for adoption is sinful. It is un-natural, i.e. sinful; after all, these children belong with their biological parents for that is the natural way, the way God intended.

Actually, these people are right. To a certain degree. Yes, the natural thing is for children to stay with their own blood, but guess what? Since the fall into sin, nothing is natural anymore! Sin is everywhere and so are the consequences of living in sin.

But if we are going to compare what is un-natural and natural in regards to birth parents, we need to be ready to take a good look at ourselves as well. Because I don't know about you, but I know I can be selfish, negligent, irresponsible, reckless and thoughtless at times as well. The only way to measure ourselves though is not to look around at others, but to use our Biblical mirror, His Word and Law.

Let's take a moment to see what is un-natural in our own lives before we condemn the choice birth parents have made to place their child up for adoption.

Before the Fall into Sin, it was very natural for Adam and Eve to live harmoniously with God. At all times. Do you and I?

It was very natural for Adam and Eve to live together as one. Completely one. Can you imagine marriage without sin?! That's what they had!! Do you and I have a marriage like this?

It was completely natural for Adam and Eve to eat what was given to them.....but not to be gluttons. How's your and my weight? Can we contain ourselves at an "All you can eat" dessert buffet?!

Before the Fall, Adam and Eve never slandered. Or gossiped.

Get this one: it was completely natural for them to walk around, well, au naturel!! All day! Without shame!! How do you feel naked?! (no, please don't answer this one :o)

We do not live in unity with God at all times. It is a constant struggle. This is un-natural. We need His Word and Spirit, as well as the gift of salvation.

I do not live completely in harmony with my husband, never getting upset with him; I am not kind and gentle every moment of the day. I do not always serve with a willing heart. This is un-natural.

I love food. A little too much. I am a glutton when it comes to chocolate, candies or anything salty. I forget that there will be food tomorrow and so eat like this is my last meal. Every meal. This is un-natural.

I have gossiped. And ashamed to confess that I also have slandered. Oh, so un-natural.

And well, I am not going to answer the naked question.

My point is this: what was to be considered 'natural' went by the wayside once sin came into the world. Sin destroyed everything that was considered natural. Nothing is natural anymore! Natural was lost! Since that time, everything is now un-natural. It is not how God created His world. But now, everything, from our relationship with God, our interactions with others, how we treat our bodies (the temple of the Holy Spirit!) physically and sexually, is un-natural. 

We are so quick to judge others. But guess what? We are no better than these birth parents!! No, we may not have had to make the choice to place our child for adoption, but when was the last time we did anything natural, like it was before the Fall into Sin?

So before we judge, or make a comment of "well, it's un-natural for the birth parents to give up their babies.", make a mental note of when it was the last time we shoved fast food into our mouth; before we look down on them, let's take a moment to remember the last time we last  held a grudge against our spouse/children; before we dismiss birth parents as careless, ponder on when we last spent time in devotions.

Take that time and energy that otherwise would be spent in judging, and use it for prayer. For ourselves and for others. Pray for those who find themselves in a situation due to the consequences of sin, no matter what the sin may be. For sin is sin and we are all guilty of it.

Matthew 7 1-5:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So, in a nutshell, this is what I mean:

The birth parents we have met are not thoughtless and inconsiderate. In fact, they are sincere, heartfelt, perceptible and mature! Yes, they have chosen adoption as an answer for their predicament, an un-natural thing to do. However, you and I know very well what types of un-natural things we choose for ourselves.

"When they kept on questioning Him (that is Jesus), He straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7.  

Birth parents are real. We are real. We are all sinful human beings in need of a Saviour. Pray that others may see this need for a Saviour. And if you believe and know that your sins are forgiven through the work of Jesus our Lord, then fall on your knees out of thankfulness and humbleness for the grace of God that has been extended to you - not because you are so righteous, but because He loves you. You have been given the gift of faith as well as His mercy. So then let us pray for this mercy to flow through us and out to those around us.

How great and awesome it'll be once everything is back to being natural again, everything in perfect harmony! A place where adoption is no longer necessary; where we will live harmoniously with God and others; where we won't pig out or bring others down in our thought and speech. And that time will come when our Saviour comes on the clouds, to take us out of this un-natural state, and bring us to Paradise with Him. Come, Lord Jesus, come!! And thank you, Lord, for this hope we may have.

Prayers

The picture above shows many things: beauty, nature, power. Right now though, I see it depicting the many emotions that our greater church community is going through right now. 

Take the water, for instance. The water represents our lives. Sometimes life can be smooth sailing, and other times, life can be filled with trials and turmoil. You can see this in the churning of the waters, the waves that are crashing against the rocks. Lately, life has proven to be very difficult to many, leaving their lives crashing against some very difficult things to comprehend; the water is agitated, swirling all about, leaving a feeling of unrest and strife, wondering if the waters will ever cease their surging.

Then there are the splashes of water: the tears. The oh so many tears that are being shed right now; tears of grief, confusion, anxiety, and hope. Some droplets are large and will take awhile to dry up. Others are small yet still so wet. But they are there, falling fast and hard.

I see the rocks. To me, the rocks represent God, our Lord and Saviour. While the rocks may seem like an obstacle for the waves, I see it as the rock being there for the waves to crash into, a place for our tears to splash on to. It is this Rock that will not be moved, always steadfast, forever faithful, always strong, even when our lives roll and crash against it, trying to envision God's plan for each and every one of us; comprehending His reasons (if He reveals them) for how and why He takes His own to Himself in such painful ways. Just as the waves batter against the rocks, we may take comfort in knowing that our Rock is there too, to take the battering of our questions, of our hurts and fears. I see this Rock as reliable, knowing that no matter the trials in this life, when we turn to our Redeemer, our Rock, He is there. And that leave us with the hope of peaceful and still waters on the other side.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; 

my hope comes from Him. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation; 

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 

My salvation and my honour depend on God;

he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your hearts to him,

for God is our refuge." Ps. 62: 5-8

And lastly, the smooth waters. This represents for me the smoothness of Life, the Life living with Christ in heaven. Lately we have lost some young people, which can leave us with many questions. Yet, we take comfort in knowing where these young members are now: walking the smooth paths of heaven, where there is no pain, no tears, no confusion, no hurts.

Please join me in praying for all those who are mourning the loss of a loved one, be that well in age or young in years. And let us all hold onto our confession, that our only comfort in life and death is this:

That I am not my own,

but belong with body and soul, 

both in life and in death,

to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.

He has fully paid for all my sins 

with His precious blood,

and has set me free

from all the power of the devil.

He also preserves me in such a way

that without the will of my Heavenly Father

not a hair can fall from my head;

indeed, all things must work together

for my salvation.

Therefore, by His Holy Spirit

He also assures me

of eternal life

and makes me heartily willing and ready

from now on to live for Him.

(Heidelberg Catechism, Lord's Day 1).

Do I Dare?

Despite many camping trips all summer, there was still plenty of time to cook, relax by the pool, bake and read. I know, rough life, eh?!

Shall I really tell you how my last month went in regards to parenting?!?! Nah, sorry, not ready to share that (yet?) with the "world". Just know that I am far from perfect, and my children are busy every day, teaching me to lean on God for strength, wisdom and encouragement.  And I am so thankful for the close people around me as well, who God is using to keep my head above the water. You are probably thinking "but she only has 2 kids.....how hard can it be?!". Just pray for me and not judge. Thanks!! :o)

But I digress. What I really wanted to focus on now was what I read throughout the summer, particularly a "Christian" book. And see, this is where it has taken me some time to gather up enough nerve to write about the book that I read. Let me give you a bit of a background.

Every summer, a number of women in our church try to get together once a week or so, to do a summer study. I don't want to call it Bible Study, because it isn't really studying the Bible. In my mind, studying the Bible is choosing a book from His Word, taking it verse by verse, keeping it in context to the verses around it, the book and the whole Bible itself, and glean from what God is revealing to us about Himself, about His plan of salvation and us, His children. What we did this past summer definitely involved the Bible, but we studied a topic, rather than a Bible book.

The book that was chosen for this summer was "Becoming More Than Just A Good Bible Study Girl" by Lysa Terkeurst.

I don't know about you, but when I read that title I was completely turned off. I'm not sure if I can explain why, but I do know I immediately judged the book and thought "Oh here we go again......".

Another book on how to do things better? On how to be a good Christian? Is this just like all the others out there that have me navel gazing rather than having an upward gaze toward God? A book that focuses solely on 'us' rather than on God? Will it have me thankful only for what God has done for me and that's it, not thanking Him for just being Who He is? A book that mentions God's Word maybe 2 times throughout the whole book?

So I definitely had my reservations when I signed up. But can I say I am so glad I read it and went (almost) every week??!

But this is where the title of this post comes in: do I dare. You see, I would love to recommend this book to you. As you might note, I haven't recommended a book yet on my blog. It isn't for lack of reading. Oh no. I love to read (proof? Come and visit me unannounced. My house will scream SHE READS!!).

The reason I am fearful of recommending a book, particularly one that is topical yet with a Christian theme, is that I am afraid that I have not discerned well enough. There are soooo many books out there, ones that "sound" good....that is until you talk to others and find out that you didn't discern well enough. There are many different "levels" of Christianity due to human interpretations of the Bible. I don't know about you but I can have a hard time discerning it all. I know the difference between different religions. I know why I am a Christian and not a Muslim; or follow Buddha; or don't keep the Jewish rules and regulations of today. That is black and white for me. But to discern the varying ways of thinking in Christianity? Well, that can be very grey for me.

I've had it before where I've read a book, talked about it with someone, only for them to point out something that actually goes against what it says in God's Word. But I didn't catch it!!! I was fooled by the sound sentences and flow of the story/experiences. I was mesmerized by their way of putting it all together. The wool was pulled over my eyes through their delivery (thinking of sermons/speeches). And this isn't the author's fault. It is MINE and my lack of wisdom and knowledge of the only True Word out there, of not even having the Bible open.

So it is my lack of discerning "well" that makes me nervous to recommend this book. Yet I still want to say something about it as I found it to speak loudly throughout many parts of it. I found so much food for thought, which benefitted me in many ways (except the last section......didn't care for it so much, but that doesn't nullify the rest of the book). I caught myself many times wishing I had read this book earlier, but then it most likely wouldn't have spoken straight to me like it did this past summer.

(I would lend you my book, but I may have underlined a sentence or two :o)

But the best part? She uses the Bible as her guide, not her guide as her Bible. And isn't that the key to all of this? That the Bible is always the first Book to go to for guidance, for help, to gain wisdom and knowledge?

So while I recommend this book, read it discerningly. But most importantly, don't let this book take over your time with the Lord and His Word. Ultimately it is His Word that we need to immerse ourselves in to "become more than just a good Bible Study girl." It is quotes from the Bible (taken in context) that need to come to my mind first throughout the day before quotes from any "good" book. But in order for that to happen, I need to be in His Word, walk in His Word and pray for understanding of His Word. And when you do that, and you still have some "extra" time, by all means, read this book! Pray for discerning eyes, and if you want, do let me know if I missed something that my eyes should have caught.

*it also comes with DVD and a day by day study guide, which you can see in the first picture. But you don't need the study guide or DVD to understand the book. The book on its own works.

July Learnings

31 days in a month = a lot of learnings.

Lincoln is learning to garden. Unsupervised.

I learned that the size of the crown doesn't need to be large in order for a little girl to feel like a princess.

Lincoln learned what a time-out was all about (breaks my heart......punishing is so not fun!)

I learned how to work the BBQ. Not too bad for my first time!!

Lincoln has learned how to hang onto the edge of the pool and just lay in the water. My heart goes into my throat every time, but here he is, laughing away:

I learned that Lincoln absolutely LOVES mac'n'cheese.....

....and Keziah absolutely does not!

I learned that if it's a rainy day and the kids can't go outside to play, give them a flashlight, which will occupy them for quite some time.

They also learned to have indoor picnics, all orchestrated by the big sister.

I had a tough lesson this month: I learned that I am allergic to poison ivy. Wow. Mosquito bites are nothing compared to the itch of a poison ivy rash. And I didn't even have a bad case of it!

The kids learned not to bother mom when she is on kijiji. It usually means she is finding great deals for them!!

We learned that you can make any campsite look homey. Somewhat. (we have never been on such a crummy campsite as we were on this time).

Nathan and I learned that a little mold under the sink usually means a lot of mold under the sink and other cupboards. Thankfully, it is all gone now.

Keziah learned how to do a cannonball off the diving board, thanks to her daddy.

In the last weeks, Lincoln has learned to play very well with his cars and trucks. With intense concentration, he lines them all up. Once they are all lined up, he takes them one by one and lines them all up on another surface. This will keep him busy for quite some time.

Speaking of cars, Lincoln learned what it was like to sit in a race car! Talk about living a boy's dream! Too bad he won't remember.

Keziah learned that having the company's summer BBQ at our place means bouncy castles and snow cones!

We learned what it was like to be chauffeurs parents to teenagers for a few days. It was a lot of fun! And we learned we had enough outlets for all the electronic stuff that came with them!

I learned that sitting on the back of a motorbike, biking through the countryside with fresh cut hay in the fields, is still one of the best ways to celebrate an anniversary. That is, until I get my own bike :o) Then that will be the best way!!

I do believe the biggest thing we learned though this month was how powerful our God is. Like someone has pointed out, we were reminded again how we wouldn't stand a chance if we were to see the full extent of this power. But we don't only see his power in the destruction, but also in the beauty of His creation. This month, it was the beauty of the sky, where one minute it can be absolutely blue with white puffy clouds and the next minute, the same sky is filled with clouds that look like boiling water.

And with that, the month is over.

I can't imagine what else there is to learn. But hopefully this boy learns how to come off the top of the playground by himself (he's scared of the slide now, so he just sits there and waits till I come and get him).