For Unto Us a Child is Born, To Us a Son is Given!!

From our home to yours, we would like to wish all of you a very blessed Christmas. What a Gift we received, so many years ago, the Gift of a Saviour. God didn't have to send His Son, but He did - because He loved us first.

May we never forget this, and so live the year 2015 out of thankfulness for this Gift.

And may God continue to hold you and us in His loving hands with whatever He has planned for 2015. May we all continue to look to Him as our Guide.

Video of our Drummer Girl

 Not sure if this worked and not sure how to make it bigger but let's give this a try. Let me know if it works!!

 

Our Drummer Girl

 

It's amazing what you can do with paint sticks, paint cans (some upright, some laying on their sides), an empty green toy bin and a wooden chair. Oh, and a tongue.... ;)

(thanks so much, Denise, for helping me out!!)

Okay, I was told it wasn't working as I had set it as "Private". Now it should.....hopefully....

Happenings??

So the name of this blog, as you know, is Helder Happenings. And when I look back on my posts, it sure has been awhile since it has lived up to its name! Time for that to change. Let me share a few snapshots as to what has all kept us a (mostly) pleasant busy the last little while.

Our little Drummer Boy Girl, using old paint cans and a wooden chair. I have a video of her - it is quite amazing. I just don't know how to upload a video to the blog. If you know how, by all means, do share!

And just so you know, she doesn't only dress up to play the drums. I do believe she is the most fashionable mother I have ever met!

Who says you need to learn how to dive in a pool?! Don't worry - I DO!!!

This is what our breakfast table looks like on a typical day: often a furry guest, a smiley brown-eyed girl willing to share a cheerio with the guest, and a boy with a stuffed mouth:

Another typical sight in our house, but after breakfast. And if I leave her socks there, by Friday there are more than one pair!

Lincoln is starting to see the benefits of Keziah being in school: that means lots of one on one time!

He also gets to be my number one helper......even if things are out of reach. Or supposed to be.

I am also learning to "enjoy" the time she is at school. Toy purge!!! This can only be done when she is not around, as she sees a treasure in every. thing. See that garbage? Pretty full, eh? We were sure to empty it before 3 that afternoon ;)

The one not so pleasant happening was that the man of the house got pretty sick. Like, let's-pass-out-twice-and-stop-breathing sick. Plus a few other nasty symptoms. Needless to say, a couple days in bed was needed. Lincoln wanted to share his stuffie with daddy, so daddy would get better. Thankfully no one else got it. Yet.

A December tradition in our home is make and then eat these!

We've also opened up some presents with Nathan's side of the family. I knew that Lincoln would get excited to receive a truck (and Nathan?!)....

....but Keziah's reaction to pipe cleaners (yes, pipe cleaners!! ) was definitely worth watching!

Now that it is December, deer milk has made it into the fridge. Deer milk, you say? Yes, deer milk. What. You don't call it 'deer milk'?! Yeah, neither did we.....until Lincoln asked me for it the other day. He was referring to this:

And, as a wrap, we were blessed last week with the most amazing sunset. Well, truth be told....seeing even a wee bit of sun was such a blessing as it has been so grey (which has affected me early and more intensely than usual, compared to other years). But this sunset sure made up for it!! I now have this in my picture folder and memory to carry me through the times of "will we ever see the sun again??"

The heavens are telling of the glory of God; And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Ps. 19:1

 

So much more has happened, as I was reminded while going through my pictures of the last month and a half. In all of it, God has kept us safe. He was near us through sickness and health, in dark days and plenty of light days. We are so thankful for His ever-presence around us.

A Note of Thanks for Our Schools, As Well as a Petition.....

Now that the kids are getting somewhat older and most of Keziah's surgeries behind us, I have been able to be in the school environment a bit more since September. I have had the privilege of supply teaching a number of times, teaching students in Gr. 4, 5 and 6. Every Tuesday afternoon, I am also volunteering in a Gr. 3 and 4 classroom (our school is small, and so we have split grades).

I have found out, after a 5 year break, that the classroom is still where my heart is. Oh, how I love being with the students, teaching, sharing, guiding, learning and everything in between. Being in the classroom gives me such an adrenaline rush - it is hard to explain. I just love it. The best part though? Unlike 5 years ago, I come home to my *own* children rather than an empty house. Best of both worlds!!!

Now that I am in our schools off and on, I have come to recognize again how blessed we are to have our own schools (I always knew our schools were a blessing, but you really don't get it until you are in it). When I say "our own", what I mean is that the children and teachers that are at this school all come from the same spiritual foundations. These foundations are not only taught in church and in home, they are also taught in the school by staff that believe the very same foundations.

I don't know the exact number, but I believe we have something like 14 elementary schools just in southern Ontario.....plus a number in Manitoba, Alberta, British Columbia, The United States and Australia, to name a few. That's not counting all the interdenominational school......just schools that are from our churches.

In these schools, we are so blessed to have such dedicated staff and volunteers that care for our children, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. The love and care by the teachers that is distributed amongst our children is so evident.

The knowledge that we all, teachers, parents and students, are children of God, all belong to the covenant family, all are sinners in need of a Saviour, which has been given to us many, many years ago is something that should also be visible. It may not be so visible to the eye, but it is visible through 'feeling'. You can feel it through the hum, the cadence, the rhythm that is in the atmosphere.

How important it is then to fight for our private schools.....but it actually doesn't really doesn't stop there. We need to fight not just for our own schools, but also those around us, the public system.....especially here in Ontario. Why?

I just need to say one name: Kathleen Wynne. If you are not familiar with this name, she is our premier of Ontario. And boy, is she ever using her position of authority to drastically change a few things, one of them being a curriculum taught in the schools, namely the Sex Education Curriculum.

To give you an idea of what she is trying to do and then what YOU can do about it, I encourage you to read and watch the following links:

 http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/3900111008001

Arpa

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-graphic-revisions-to-ontarios-sex-education-curriculum.html

Sign the petition!!! Please!!

I know what you are thinking - but these changes won't affect us because we won't need to teach this exact curriculum due to our schools being private. Guess what?! It could very well affect us, because who knows how long we will be able to continue to teach our children in freedom! Who knows how long we will be able to keep our private schools! Who knows how far this premier will go as long as she has "power"!

So, please, take the two minutes and sign the petition.

And after that? Continue to pray for our schools; be thankful we still have the freedom to have our own schools and be ready to do what we can to keep it this way.

Oh, and one more thing - go thank a teacher. They are such gifts from the Lord that are placed in our lives to help us carry out the vows we made as parents at our children's baptism. And, if you have a moment, go early the next time to pick up your child and stand in the halls. Notice the pulse in your child's school, the underlying current that flows from one classroom to another. And praise God for this blessing: of our own schools.

Before and After

I always knew growing up that I wanted to be a teacher. At the tender age of 20, my dream came true as I welcomed my very first class of Kindergarten students. 10 years and over 200 students later, I finally went to our Teacher's College to become truly qualified. I never did go back to having my own class, as Keziah was born the year I graduated from College. Although I have been supply teaching a bit over the past 6 years, I have been home most of the time.

Every once in awhile, I will bump into an "old" student of mine and we often will start chatting about that year - the year when they stepped cautiously or excitedly into my classroom. We chat about what we remember about that year. Being Kindergarten, it was many years ago for some of my students, and so the memories can sometime be rather foggy.

However. There is often one story that comes up every time I ask a student what they remember. And it has nothing to do with me. Or them. But to do with Mr. Helder, my husband (or my dad if you are 5 :o)

Now, what is this story about Mr. Helder that has stuck in most of my students' minds?! Let me share it with you:

On one of our first dates as a married couple, we went to a seafood restaurant. Having looked at the menu, I order my trusty chicken dish and Nathan orders a fish. A whole fish. A whole fish that included the head. Yummy. Not. I clarify with the waitress that while I ordered a chicken dinner, I was *not* interested in the whole chicken. No head, feet or feathers for me, thanks!!

A little while later, our dinners are brought to us, and sure enough, on Nathan's plate is a complete fish. Tail, head, fins, eyeball. It's all there.

I cautiously cut a little piece off my chicken, while looking carefully to make sure there is nothing "extra" still attached.  As I chew my morsel of deliciousness, I look over to Nathan's plate and notice that the fish is no longer whole. Yes, the tail and fins are there.....but where is the head?!?!?! I glance up to ask Nathan where the fish head went and I see Nathan chewing.

No. Tell me he didn't.

Before I could start to choke, I see him dip down to his plate and spit something out.

It was the skull.

That's right - the brains, the head and eyeball had been eaten! All that is left is bone.

While I sit there with my mouth gaping open, trying not to gag, and telling myself that there is no way I will *ever* kiss that mouth again, Nathan calmly says, "Well, now I know what that tastes like.".

Well, of course I went to school the next day and told my students what Mr. Helder had eaten. And I told that story each and every year I taught. And apparently that story stuck! Never mind the copious amount of time I spent with my students, the love, care and dedication that I put into my job, it is the Fish Story that comes up as sometimes the only memory of Kindergarten.

Fast forward to present time. A few weeks ago, we went out for dinner. Sure enough, Nathan orders a fish. A complete fish. Head, tail, fins and eyeball. And yet again, I am left trying to enjoy my dinner while he mows down on this "delicacy". After all, it has been 16 years since the last time he had it!

And this time, instead of telling my students what he ate, we had the privilege of telling Keziah and Lincoln. Just in case they didn't believe it, I took pictures.

So this is my Before and After for this week:

Before:

And his fish, After:

At least this time he didn't stick the whole head in his mouth. He did eat the eyeball though like last time. As one of my students said, "Wow!! So the fish can see what Mr. Helder had for breakfast?!".

I don't know about you, but I shall continue to stick to my faithful and dependable chicken dinners.

No comment about whether I stopped kissing Mr. Helder though. ;)

Are They Yours?

Having adopted our children, many questions come our way. For the most part, we don't mind......totally depending on the tone, who is asking and who is listening (our children are getting older -  meaning, they also are starting to hear what is being asked).

Many questions directed to us are genuine and we love that. We will then take the time to answer and be as honest as we can be. One question that has come up recently and has been asked of us in the past is this one:

Do you ever feel like the kids aren't yours?

To us that is a very genuine and valid question. Why? Because if we are to be honest, it is a question that we had as well before we adopted.

And if I am even more honest with you, every time *I* saw a child that was adopted, it was always the first thing that popped into my mine. "There's so and so who is adopted.". I could never leave it as "There's so and so.".

Maybe it's because we knew right away in our marriage that to have children, it would only be through adoption and so that is why I took mental note (again and again) as to who was adopted. That term 'adopted' meant something to us, even before we pursued it.

So when we did start looking into adoption, that very same question of will our kids feel like ours rose high in our minds.

If we are blessed with children via adoption, will we see our children through adoption-filtered eyes?

Will we see "adopted" on our children every time we lay eyes on them?

Will we ever see our children as just that, ours? Not "our adopted children"?

And just in case those questions aren't enough to keep you awake, other questions along those lines start to assail you:

What if our child is so different (emotionally, characteristically etc.) from us that it is just so obvious that s/he is adopted?  A side note here - we knew our children would look differently than us.....and that was not a concern of ours at all.

Will our child feel our label on them, that s/he will see that we can't get past that they are adopted?

Well, what can I say?

All I can say is that NO. A big huge emphatic NO.

 NO, we have never felt like our children are not ours. Actually, quite the opposite!! I often forget that I never gave birth to them! It's not until others talk about pregnancy and birth that I am, get this, surprised that I can't talk about my pregnancies, because well, I never had a pregnancy, yet I have two absolutely beautiful children that I would die for.

You know what though? It really is just too hard to explain, to put into words....it is such a deep and emotional feeling, that we know our children are ours. It is something you would have to go through yourself to understand.

While this thought of "I don't think I could love a child that is not mine" is somewhat common (more so in men than women?), this thought cannot be farther than the truth. Not for us anyway.

I say that because you have to realize I am speaking like this based on our experience of adoption. While our answer to that question in red is such a sure and confident "NO", unfortunately there may be other families that have adopted who would answer the question very differently. But I can't answer that question for them and so I will not try. I can only speak for ourselves.

Our children felt like ours the moment they were graciously placed into our arms. Although I struggled with Adoption Blues after Keziah was born (possibly something to write about another time - such a thing as Adoption Blues?!), I do believe that had more to do with the fact that it was a HUGE adjustment in having a baby in our home after 11 years, not an adopted baby in our home.

And more than 5 years later, we have a little girl and a little boy that is a mini-us. Why? Because I do believe that children are a product of their environment. Yes, their personality and character are formed in their DNA, however their environment molds it. And seeing that both Keziah and Lincoln were brought into our homes at birth, they don't know any different!

BUT, you know what's really neat?! Due to both Keziah and Lincoln being in an Open Adoption, we know their birth parents a little bit, and have information on them i.e. likes, dislikes, talents, characteristics, what they are good at, what they struggled with etc.  and it is so neat to see some of those traits coming through as well.

For example, Keziah absolutely LOVES winter. She pines for it all summer long. She can't handle it when it is too hot. She talks of winter all year. That is definitely not from either one of us. We know that is from her birth father. Keziah also is one of the most creative children I have ever seen. Again, so not one of us......we clearly see her birth mother in her.

If you had asked us whether we would be "cool" with that before we adopted, I don't think we would have given you a sure answer. But now, going through it, we can say for sure that we think it is pretty amazing to note what is from their genetics and what is from their environment. Again, it is something you just need to go through to understand.

So yes, we are confident to say that our children are ours. 

When we kiss them goodnight, we kiss our children, not our adopted children.

When we discipline them, we discipline our children, not adopted children.

When we see them in a group of children, we see our children, not adopted children.

When they come running to us with a look of glee on their faces, calling, "Mommy!! Daddy!!", it is our children that are running to us, not our adopted children.

They may not have our hair colour or our stubborn nature (phew!), they *do* have our hearts. They are ours.

Completely.  Thoroughly. Absolutely. Unconditionally.

Thank you, God!!!!

PS. I have a tonne of pictures that I wanted to post to prove it, but yeah, this post is long enough, so maybe just a few? They are from a few years ago.....before I started to blog.

 

Adoption Awareness

Well, November is almost over and with this month being Adoption Awareness month, you may have thought I had forgotten, especially seeing that the last two years I've written a number of blog posts in this particular month on the topic of Adoption.

Nope, not forgotten.....just waiting for something to strike me to write about. I felt I had written quite a bit about Adoption the last few Novembers and I wasn't sure what I could add to it. If you haven't read those blog posts, I encourage you to do so. Some of them are long, but worth the time to read (am I allowed to say that about my own writing?! I  hope that doesn't come across the wrong way..). You never know - it could help you in YOUR journey or someone else's. Because guaranteed if it's not you dealing with infertility, someone close to you is as infertility affects 1 in every 4 couples. And when we talk infertility, the topic of Adoption is not far behind......trying to know whether it's for your family or not, which can be so hard considering everyone else thinks it's the answer and solution. Besides, adopt and most likely you will get pregnant! That's what happened to my sister's husband's aunt's daughter's niece. (I hope you know I am being sarcastic.....;)

After giving my readership an opportunity to ask me whatever about adoption, I answered the questions I received in the following links back in November 2012:
Adoption Q & A Part One
Adoption Q & A Part Two
Adoption Q & A Part Three

Last year, November 2013, I wrote about 5 things Adoption has taught us:
What Adoption Has Taught Us Part 1A
What Adoption Has Taught Us Part 1B
What Adoption Has Taught Us Part 2
What Adoption Has Taught Us Part 3
What Adoption Has Taught Us Part 4

Lots of reading material for you! In the meantime, I will continue to think about what to write about this year in regards to Adoption Awareness. I have an idea or two, but please let me know via here or email me whether there is something you'd like me to write about as well. You can always remain anonymous if you leave a comment here, I do not mind that at all.

I hope to have a write up later this week or next week. Give me your thoughts! :o)

Last Hike of the Season = Photo Shoot

I had planned to do this blog post Friday night, but just when I was about to start, our power went out. Thankfully it came back on after an hour or so, which is good because it was a cold night for no heat!

It is now Monday night, and as I write this, my bath tub is full with water, flashlights are on the counter and my phone is fully charged. You'd think I am expecting the power to go out again! Well, that is because I am. The wind is blustery out there, blowing upwards to 80-100 kms an hour! It is supposed to be like this all tonight and into tomorrow. You know it's windy out there when the water in your toilets have white caps. (I am kidding, but the water is moving all around in them!)

But despite the wind, today was very warm, which reminded me of some pictures I took when the kids and I went on another fall hike. I shall let the pictures do the talking......some of them are my new favs!!

I took some pictures of the kids in the cornfield nearby, but Linc was just way too concerned about the farmer. "The farmer get mad at me, mom! I in his corn!!!"

Yup. There's no question. We have the cutest kids on the planet.

Before/After

It's a dark and stormy wintry night......and Winter doesn't start in 5 weeks!! Oiy. But no complaints here!! Why?! Because I don't live on the other side of the lake - in Buffalo, NY. My, oh my. Can you imagine receiving two meters of snow, with possibly another meter on its way?! Can't picture it? Here, have a look at this. Unbelievable.

I had these pictures planned as a Before and After, but I have now added a new category: Middle, thanks to Fall ending so suddenly and Winter coming so early.

So here is my Before picture of some trees in my front yard:

Middle:

After:

But it wasn't just my trees changing in a month. So was my driveway.

Here is my Before:

And After:

It's amazing the difference a month makes!!