P.H.R.T.F.L

Boy, when you do something every week, it really emphasizes how quick a week goes by! I am glad then to take time to capture some moments for P.H.R.T.F.L. before I forget how this week went.

Pretty:
Well, it came early (too early for my liking), but good thing it was pretty. It was even prettier in the morning, but by the time I was able to get out to snap some pictures, most of it had fallen off the trees. We shall see if I still think this is pretty in March.....

Happy:
The above snowfall definitely made some little people happy!! Well, as long as he never fell down. 'Cause he learned real quick that once he was down, he was down for good until someone rescued him and helped him to stand back up. It's what happens when you are bundled from head to toe and are only 2 feet tall!

Lincoln was also very happy that daddy bought some equipment for the business. That means little gifts from the company, like a truck, trailer and bobcat......kid-size!! Lincoln has yet to let these go out of sight since he's received them. No wonder. He's almost 2 and it's very first truck and trailer! Exciting times for a boy!!

Real:
I wasn't too sure whether to put the following pictures under "funny", but then I was afraid of what you would think of me (I still think these pictures are hilarious....). We are going on 4 years of the fear of Santa being very real for this girl. Here I thought it was safe to take her out because all the scary Halloween costumes were put away. But nope, not yet. Gotta wait another month and then this scary red and white guy will be gone again. And to think, we were just walking by the guy. Don't worry, I've never tried to make her sit with him.

Speaking of Funny, did you hear the news? Yup, we will be welcoming a new little one any time soon here in our home! Can't say you've never seen a pregnant Polly Pocket now :o)

Did you know that sucking up Jello with a straw is fun?! Who needs the jello to be fully set when you have straws handy!

Love/Favourite:
This is my favourite picture of the week. That's how these guys travel. Holding hands.

I hope you are having a great week so far!! Busy weekend ahead for us, but it'll be lots of fun as we get to spend time with friends tonight and family tomorrow. And then there's Sunday, a much needed day for my spiritual well-being. May you have a blessed weekend.

What Adoption Has Taught Us - Part 4

.....about our children.

What adoption has taught us in regards to our children is this:

They may not have an ounce of genetic traits from us, but they do have something of ours, and that is our hearts! And they captured our hearts from the moment we met them, and the stinkers haven't let go! If anything, they keep squeezing harder and harder :o)

Again, some honesty. Many years ago, when we briefly talked about whether we should adopt or not, the fear of not knowing whether we could love someone else's child was a huge hurdle for us. We wrestled with the question of would we ever see that child as our daughter/son. We were concerned that we would never be able to look past their adoption, and always see that first when looking at our children. And if we couldn't have our "own" children, then adopting was not something we wanted.

Praise God for His ways!!! And that in the end, it was His plans that He made known to us!

While those fears are definitely real and understandable, we learned very quickly many years later, that we wanted to parent. It became apparent that we had a desire to parent, which completely overtook our desire to pass down our genes. And so we started the journey of adoption.

That question though of whether we would really see them as ours was always in the back of our minds, that is, until we held each of them. And we have never asked that question again.

Instead, we proudly shout: YES, this is OUR daughter!!!!!

And this is OUR son!!!!

So our children taught us many things and will continue to teach us for as long as the Lord allows this relationship to grow. But one of the biggest things they taught us has been nicely summed up in this poem:

And that is the truth. And the beauty of it all is it doesn't stop there. The two of our children come from very different genes, backgrounds and circumstances. But we have been blessed with the gift of watching how that doesn't matter to them one iota. For these two blessings absolutely love each other. Yes, they have their moments, but they are few and far between. These two are not only siblings through adoption, they are playmates and best friends. We pray that God will continue to bless this relationship.

And that is the end of our 4 part series of what adoption has taught us. I hope you enjoyed it. Do feel free to email me if you ever have any questions at all in regards to adoption. I will do my best to answer them.

If you are at a fork in the road of life as to whether to pursue adoption or not (whether you have biological children already or not), may you be given much strength and wisdom to seek His will. Be ready for His ways, as you never know where He may lead you.

If you are on the road of adoption, hold fast to Him and know that He has a plan, which can be so comforting in all the ups and downs. And I pray that your desire to have a (another) child may be God's will for you and your family.

And if you are just reading for interest sake or that you know of someone close to you that is journeying down this road, pray for them. Pray also that you may be a shoulder to cry on, as well as someone to keep them looking to God for their help.

P.H.R.T.L.F.

Welcome to the third week of Pretty, Happy, Real, Thankful, Funny and Love. You'll notice most of them have the same theme, Keziah's surgery, as that is what took up most of our week.

Pretty:

The other week, we woke up to one of the most gorgeous sunrises we've seen in awhile. I just loved the contrast between the dark and looming sky behind the brightly lit up coloured trees. What a beautiful way to wake up, to realize that yet again, the sun rises, each and every day, thanks to our Creator.

Happy
While the bed at the hospital is pretty good, I sure was happy that I only had to sleep here one night:

Thankful:
We are so thankful to all those involved this past week in regards to Keziah's surgery. We are thankful that we live close to a hospital that is renown for its work. We praise God for the team that cares for Keziah and all her needs.

Real:
While Tylenol and Advil were helpful to ease Keziah's pain this week, it became abundantly clear that the best medicine of all was having her family back altogether, especially her brother. The first picture is the day after her surgery, the second picture is the next day. All smiles when around Lincoln. And as you can see by Lincoln's lovingly gaze at his sister, the feeling is quite mutual :o)

Funny:
We thought it was quite funny that Keziah wanted broccoli for supper, a few hours after her surgery. What a funny duck!

Keziah came home from the hospital with this large doll that was given to her. Lincoln was not too thrilled, running away from it. Is it mean that we think this is funny?!

Keziah really dislikes the taste and smell of her medicine. Why can't they make medicine with a broccoli flavour?! It'd be no problem then to get it in her!!

Still with the "funny" theme, Lincoln is learning to close his eyes during prayer. It sure is hard for us to keep a straight face when he is looking like this!

And lastly, Love:
I love it that this little boy wouldn't let me go after being away from me for a few days. He also loved all the hugs from his sister.

What Adoption Has Taught Us - Part 3

.....about God.

Adoption has taught us many things, but the one the stands out the most is what we learned about our God and Father.

But let me be honest (you wouldn't expect anything less, right ;), to write this post has definitely been the hardest one out of the 4 (one more coming, which is pretty much done already, in my head anyway).

Why? Well, there is so much that we have learned that there is no way I could write it all down in one, two or even three posts.

Another factor in making this such a hard post to write (I have written, deleted, written, deleted, more times for this post than any other yet) is because, well, if I were to read a post written by somebody who has 2 healthy children after a long journey of infertility and adoption, and that person writes about how loving God is, how gracious He is, and how He wants the best for us, the cynic in me would be "Well, of course. You got what you wanted, what you've been desiring for so many years.". Yes, cynicism is a reaction of mine that I am not proud of, a reaction that can rear its ugly head as soon as the seed of bitterness has been planted.

But please do not let cynicism creep into your heart. But read on, with an open mind and heart, and read the following poem It is a poem that is such a source of comfort while going through any trial that God has placed on your path.

Wait by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Does that not bring a tear to your eye???! This poem sums it all up for me.

But I can't leave it at just a poem, because really, it is His Word that provides all comfort, hope and security. Again, let me be honest....while going through the whole adoption rig-a-ma-role, it was not always His Word I turned to. No. Rather than turn to God, I often turned on to God, in a very sinful and accusing way. There were days on this roller coaster ride, where I walked away from Him, where I was so angry with Him that I kept His Word closed. Boy, am I ever thankful that He never walked away from me. I am thankful that while I may not have turned to His Word during those dark days, He worked His Spirit in me to repent, and then open His Word. And I pray that this Spirit will continue to guide me and teach me, to especially open His Word while the trial is the hardest, and not to leave it to once it has passed.

Here are some Bible passages that I found to be incredibly helpful, passages that kept the big picture in  mind (why we are here, what purpose and what the end goal is), and verses that spoke of how important it is to always, always, know that it is not my will, but His will. And that I may willingly accept His will. Of course, this list is not complete. It is just a beginning.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13. The key words here are seeking the LORD with all your heart. THAT is what we are here for, our purpose: to seek Him with all our heart.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41: 10. These are God's words to you and me!!!! He is our God.

"For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end." Ps. 48: 14. He is our God, our guide. To the end!! That's His promise!!

And really, I could list a whole whack of Psalms here. How often did David not cry out to the LORD to hear his cry for help? How often did he not ask God to save him from his enemies? No, we might not have a king or an army wanting to kill us, but we do have enemies as well: Satan and all his army. So we can cry out with David to the same God.....but always note how David ends his cries: humbly praising this God as well.

Lastly, when I really struggle with God and His plans, I only have to read Job38-41:34. These chapters get me every single time. They put me back in my place: the creature. And they put God back where He belongs: the Creator. These chapters make me fall on my knees in awe, reverence and humility. These chapters put everything into perspective for me. It makes me feel a millimetre high.

Yet, while I may feel a mm high, this God, who is immeasurable, loves me. And sent His Son for me. And that's what it is all about. It is not about a baby. It is not about receiving everything for this life, to make this life happier. It is about repenting, converting, realizing what He has done out of His great love. And that can only leave one living out of thankfulness for Him, running the race until we may receive the reward that is waiting for us; a reward that is promised to His children.

It is my prayer that I may remember all of this tomorrow as we embark another bump in the road, not in adoption, but in life, the life of our daughter's medical journey. Life is not easy, as all of you know. And so what a comfort it is that we may travel it with God as our guide. We are not alone.

P.H.R.T.F.L.

A week has passed us by and my camera has been busy, capturing a few Pretty, Happy, Real, Thankful, Funny and Love moments.

Pretty
Us girls in the house were spoiled by the Man of the house with some beautiful and pretty flowers! Keziah was just absolutely thrilled that the yellow ones were for her :o)

Happy
Lincoln has discovered puzzles. That makes for a very happy sister, who now can do her own puzzle without him trying to "help" her.

Keziah was also very happy to hold a friend's tiny 6 pound little baby girl.

Real
When you start seeing this on your call display almost every day.....

....you are forced with the fact that your daughter going in for surgery is very real. And soon. 4 more nights to be exact. So this week was filled with phone calls and doctor's appointments, preparing for this next phase in our life (if you are interested, you can read about it on her blog, which you'll find at the top of this page on a tab called "Keziah's Journey").

Thankful
Earlier this week, we had an opportunity to remember those before us who fought for freedom. We are thankful for their sacrifice. And we continue to pray for our soldiers today that work in dangerous zones. May our military continue to be blessed by God and be used to help those in need.

One other thing we were thankful for this week was the health of Lincoln. After having 3 bad nights of croup and then a terrible cold, we are thankful that God has restored his health. I am also thankful for that husband of mine, who willingly walks in the middle of the night outside, in the cold weather to help his son breathe.

Funny
So apparently Lincoln did not eat enough for supper one night. This is my pot holder. It is his job to take them off the table and put them where they belong. How cork tastes better than beans, I have no idea....

The kids LOVE to play hide and seek. We tell them to hide and then well, we won't bother to seek :o). But the few times that we do look for them, you can tell it sure doesn't take us long to find them :o)

Love
It is such a blessing that daddy is so loved that his daughter hangs onto his coat to keep him from going to work. Yes, this daddy is surely appreciated and the kids love him like crazy. And I get the blessing of watching them interact together.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

What Adoption Has Taught Us About Birth Parents....and Us!

Adoption has taught us that Birth Parents are real.

What I mean by 'real' is this: they have feelings. They have emotions. They love. They cry. They laugh. They hurt. They make mistakes. They are not perfect. They are someone's child. They sin. They were created by God. They belong on this earth just as much as you and I do.

I state these things because there are many out there who think differently of birth parents. There can be a stigma out there that birth parents are either prostitutes, teenage moms, druggies or alcoholics. They don't care. They are selfish. They are negligent. They are irresponsible, reckless,  and thoughtless. I mean, how else did they end up in the predicament they find themselves in, right? (note sarcastic tone here).

There are many out there who think it is wrong that birth parents place their children for adoption. That to place your child up for adoption is sinful. It is un-natural, i.e. sinful; after all, these children belong with their biological parents for that is the natural way, the way God intended.

Actually, these people are right. To a certain degree. Yes, the natural thing is for children to stay with their own blood, but guess what? Since the fall into sin, nothing is natural anymore! Sin is everywhere and so are the consequences of living in sin.

But if we are going to compare what is un-natural and natural in regards to birth parents, we need to be ready to take a good look at ourselves as well. Because I don't know about you, but I know I can be selfish, negligent, irresponsible, reckless and thoughtless at times as well. The only way to measure ourselves though is not to look around at others, but to use our Biblical mirror, His Word and Law.

Let's take a moment to see what is un-natural in our own lives before we condemn the choice birth parents have made to place their child up for adoption.

Before the Fall into Sin, it was very natural for Adam and Eve to live harmoniously with God. At all times. Do you and I?

It was very natural for Adam and Eve to live together as one. Completely one. Can you imagine marriage without sin?! That's what they had!! Do you and I have a marriage like this?

It was completely natural for Adam and Eve to eat what was given to them.....but not to be gluttons. How's your and my weight? Can we contain ourselves at an "All you can eat" dessert buffet?!

Before the Fall, Adam and Eve never slandered. Or gossiped.

Get this one: it was completely natural for them to walk around, well, au naturel!! All day! Without shame!! How do you feel naked?! (no, please don't answer this one :o)

We do not live in unity with God at all times. It is a constant struggle. This is un-natural. We need His Word and Spirit, as well as the gift of salvation.

I do not live completely in harmony with my husband, never getting upset with him; I am not kind and gentle every moment of the day. I do not always serve with a willing heart. This is un-natural.

I love food. A little too much. I am a glutton when it comes to chocolate, candies or anything salty. I forget that there will be food tomorrow and so eat like this is my last meal. Every meal. This is un-natural.

I have gossiped. And ashamed to confess that I also have slandered. Oh, so un-natural.

And well, I am not going to answer the naked question.

My point is this: what was to be considered 'natural' went by the wayside once sin came into the world. Sin destroyed everything that was considered natural. Nothing is natural anymore! Natural was lost! Since that time, everything is now un-natural. It is not how God created His world. But now, everything, from our relationship with God, our interactions with others, how we treat our bodies (the temple of the Holy Spirit!) physically and sexually, is un-natural. 

We are so quick to judge others. But guess what? We are no better than these birth parents!! No, we may not have had to make the choice to place our child for adoption, but when was the last time we did anything natural, like it was before the Fall into Sin?

So before we judge, or make a comment of "well, it's un-natural for the birth parents to give up their babies.", make a mental note of when it was the last time we shoved fast food into our mouth; before we look down on them, let's take a moment to remember the last time we last  held a grudge against our spouse/children; before we dismiss birth parents as careless, ponder on when we last spent time in devotions.

Take that time and energy that otherwise would be spent in judging, and use it for prayer. For ourselves and for others. Pray for those who find themselves in a situation due to the consequences of sin, no matter what the sin may be. For sin is sin and we are all guilty of it.

Matthew 7 1-5:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So, in a nutshell, this is what I mean:

The birth parents we have met are not thoughtless and inconsiderate. In fact, they are sincere, heartfelt, perceptible and mature! Yes, they have chosen adoption as an answer for their predicament, an un-natural thing to do. However, you and I know very well what types of un-natural things we choose for ourselves.

"When they kept on questioning Him (that is Jesus), He straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7.  

Birth parents are real. We are real. We are all sinful human beings in need of a Saviour. Pray that others may see this need for a Saviour. And if you believe and know that your sins are forgiven through the work of Jesus our Lord, then fall on your knees out of thankfulness and humbleness for the grace of God that has been extended to you - not because you are so righteous, but because He loves you. You have been given the gift of faith as well as His mercy. So then let us pray for this mercy to flow through us and out to those around us.

How great and awesome it'll be once everything is back to being natural again, everything in perfect harmony! A place where adoption is no longer necessary; where we will live harmoniously with God and others; where we won't pig out or bring others down in our thought and speech. And that time will come when our Saviour comes on the clouds, to take us out of this un-natural state, and bring us to Paradise with Him. Come, Lord Jesus, come!! And thank you, Lord, for this hope we may have.

On the Lighter Side

Well, after a couple of heavy posts, I thought we could all use a break. I have the next Adoption post almost ready (What Adoption has taught us about Birth Parents), and I'll post it next week.

But for now, something on the lighter side to give our emotions a break.

When I started this blog a year ago, I ended every month with pictures of what we learned that month. I enjoyed this and it often made me laugh.

But after a year of this, I figured it was time for a change. So what I hope to do now is this. I hope to pick a picture or two at the end of each week that falls under the following categories, not necessarily in this order: Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real, Love and Thankful, or otherwise known as P.H.F.R.L.T. By doing this, I hope to focus a bit more on the things around me, snapping pictures, enjoying each day. Especially through the winter, where I can find it difficult with the long dark days.

So, here we go. First off,

Pretty

The one thing I do look forward to in winter are the sunsets. I find they can be much more beautiful than the sunsets of summer.

Happy

Our oldest nephew came for a few days. And what fun he had with the kids! All three were very happy to spend some time together!

Thankful (see? changed the order already :o)

We are so thankful that despite all she's been through (especially with so many procedures done on her face), her first visit to the dentist went amazing!!

Real

Reality is though, we need to do a bit of a better job brushing her teeth. She had two tiny cavities. She handled that well, too! "Mom, my cheek is asleep!"

Funny

This is how Lincoln plugs his ears whenever I use my blender :o)

Love

Kisses for his big sister.

I hope you all had a pretty, happy, real, funny, thankful and lovely week!!