And the Sparks Continue to Fly!

You would think after last week's storm, we've had enough with sparks for awhile. Those sparks from the storm eventually went out after hours of smouldering and the fire department left Saturday night. But today, the sparks I am talking about are still flying, sparks that have been alight some 15 years ago.

Today is our anniversary. 15 years. Did I just make you gag talking about our spark? Sorry about that. :o)

15 years ago we woke up early, rushing about, in order to be at the church on time. We wanted a morning wedding, with a luncheon and have everything done by late afternoon. And that is exactly what happened. I was walking down the isle at 10:36, had our pictures snapped for awhile, and then were eating lunch at 2:13. We said good-bye to our last guest at 5:58 and we left. What a whirlwind of a day. But what a beautiful day it was! A few snapshots from The Day.

But seeing as it's been 15 years, I should be able to come up with a bit of a list of things I have learned. The problem is, I don't think I have learned a whole lot. You see, 'learned' is in the past tense. The things I have 'learned' over the years are things I am still learning. Allow me to list a few things of What I have and am Learning About Marriage

* it is not about give and take. It is all about give. Give, give, give. And to learn to give with a joyful heart. Yeah, still learning this one.

* stop trying to expect my husband to know what is on my mind. He is not a mind-reader. He is my husband. They are two totally different titles. Thankfully.

* respect. Respect my husband to him, as well as in front of others. That means not knocking him down, even if *I* thought what he did was humourous.

* do realize that a man and a woman work very differently. Men compartmentalize things. Women, well, we like to overanalyze things (or am I the only one that does that?). So don't get hurt when my man has moved on to something else, even if it's just been 1/2 an hour since we last talked about an issue. It's not that he doesn't care, it's because I am thinking too much of one thing. Time to move on.

* recognize the pressure my husband has to provide for our family. And I don't mean just financially here. He not only provides financially, but also stability, emotionally, spiritually, just to name a few. To come home after a hard day at work, and then provide me his ear and shoulder while I tell him about the joys and frustrations of my day, is something never to take for granted.

* what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom

* treat him like a king. He is the head of our household, and I love that. But how do you treat someone like a king? By serving him. And that ties in with my first point: giving. If, as Christians, we are to imitate Christ in our actions, well, what did Christ do when He was on earth before He gave His life for us? He served others. Being married, I am called to serve my husband. And again, to do it with a joyful heart.

* forgive. Without forgiveness, you only hold yourself back. Besides, if I can't forgive, how can I expect God to forgive me? He definitely doesn't hold grudges. Phew.

The thing that makes me sad though, is knowing that not all marriages are healthy. Not all husbands love their wives like themselves and not all wives respect their husbands. A lot of abuse happens, verbally, physically and emotionally. Then reading the list above can be leave you with a feeling of "yeah, right. I'll do that once he starts doing this."

The last 15 years, it has been so easy for me to respect and love my husband. Not because I am such a loving and gracious wife (HA!!!! Lots to work on yet :o), but it is because I have a husband who loves and respects me. But that is not the way it goes for everyone. And so, the last bullet (there is so much more to add but I'll save that for next year's anniversary, the Lord willing) I want to add is

*pray. Again, easy to say, but it needs to be said. Pray for your marriage, pray for your spouse, pray for your family and pray for yourself. Marriage is like a bed of roses: there are lots of beautiful things to enjoy, but don't forget the thorns. Just don't let those thorns overrule the reason why you planted the roses. Kneel before our God and ask Him for strength, encouragment, a forgiving heart, patience, more understanding, or whatever it is you need to bring to the table of marriage what you ought.

Our marriages represent Christ and His Church. Christ is the Groom and the Church is His Bride. And before I go and make sure my husband is representing the Groom, I better make sure to focus on being like His Church. And so I leave you with what this looks like, written clearly in for us in His Word in Ephesians 5: 21-33

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^{[b] 32} This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 May the Holy Spirit work this Word into our hearts as we go forward today, also remembering our wedding text of Psalm 48:14: For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.