NIAW - Descriptions Expanded (Part 2)

Let's continue on and see how infertility can mean refinement.

While I wrestled with God, questioning His love for us from withholding such a special gift, He was refining me. When we questioned whether to adopt, or what to do with our lives, what He wanted from us, He was refining us. And I am sure you know as well as I do, the actual refining hurts. Big time. And while we were being refined, many times we thought we were alone, that God didn't care, that He was so far away. But it wasn't until we were refined could we see that He was there. The whole time!! And just when we got through, off we were, being refined again.

I read a quote that hit home for me. It goes like this:
"God doesn't protect us from what will perfect us."

And that is refinement. Going through things that will perfect us for Him, for His glory. But oh, is it ever hard to be filtered and cleansed! (And if I was a quick learner, maybe I wouldn't need so much refining still to this day!)

And once refined, your faith is renewed by the Holy Spirit. You see God in a new light, that He does love; that He cares for you and for me. You begin to see Him as Who He is, not Who you want Him to be. Through His Spirit, you may begin to see the bigger picture, that although He withholds particular gifts from us, He is concerned for us. Otherwise He would not have sent His own Son to save us from our sins. And does that not boost your faith? Knowing that He has given us a Gift more valuable than a baby? And with this Gift comes those wonderful promises of eternal life, where "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev. 21: 4). Come, Lord Jesus, come!!!

One last term: new dreams. Yes, going through infertility means dashed hopes. But it also means new dreams!! And that can be anything......you just have to be looking with refined and faith-filled eyes. And these new dreams will be different from one another. It can be enjoying life as a family of two, pursuing dreams that you would never have the chance to pursue if you were raising a family. And it doesn't have to stop with one dream. No, it can be two, three or more! But the key is to be willing to see them as opporunities, to go after them rather than waiting for that positive pregnancy test.

And always, always, always pray: Thy will be done. If it is His will, may He bring about new dreams. Don't think like I did: fearful that if I moved on to new dreams, He will forget my old dream of having a child. No, thankfully He doesn't work like that. He's much bigger than that. What He does want from us is to recognize His will in our lives. And His will may be that you see the specialness of infertility; and/or that He is refining you to perfection; and/or that He is boosting your faith; and/or that He is leading you to new dreams.