Chapter 6 - She's Gonna Blow

Thank you for being patient with me as I type this up a few days late. This past week was a busy one, but one filled with newborn snuggles, watching a boy turn back to his happy self after hand, foot, and mouth, celebrating my hubby's birthday, and lots of time to hear laughter coming from my 4.5 year old blessing, who so enjoyed some time with a friend for a few days.

But onward we go:

Chapter 6 - The Bedrock of Truth: Exploring the Biblical Foundations for Change

Summary:
After 5 very tough, eye-opening, straightforward chapters (that is, if we were honest with ourselves in the times Barnhill has asked us to dig deep), we move into Part Two of the Book, Climbing to Sanity.

Barnhill clearly states in this chapter that the only way, the only way, to climb back to sanity is that we need to anchor ourselves on something concrete. And that is the Bible.

Barnhill admits to reading/watching everything else (magazines, books, TV), which makes an impression on us and influences our parenting (whether we realize it or not). This is why she feels it is very important to dust off our Bible and align our hearts and minds with the truths written in the Bible (and not those magazines/books/TV shows etc.). And that means we need to spend time in His Word.

Easy? No. But as Barnhill writes, "I've learned the hard way that it is simply impossible to grow in the faith if the only source you're tapping into is cultural junk food and your biblical past." pg. 138

The Bible tells us the truths about God, about ourselves and our children.

First, then, a few truths we learn from the Bible about God is this:

• He made us, He loves us
• does not grow weary
• never sleeps
• nothing catches Him off guard
• knows our very own struggles, inner battles

Secondly, a few truths we learn about ourselves through the Bible:

• created in His image (a beautiful good thing, which separates us from the rest of creation)
• created to worship and enjoy Him
• created to know Him
• created to find eternal fulfillment through His Son
• part of a fallen creation
• wicked, prone to sin
• able to turn a blessing into a curse

Knowing this (and more), it becomes very clear that without God, who don't have a saving chance to change from Mount Mommas to calm, delightful, peaceful in-control parents. So where does that leave us? Needing God, because it is only Him that can change our nature.

And so Barnhill encourages her readers to repent, as that is the starting point to a new beginning. A true repentance for our blow ups, which will lead us to confession. And the hardest part? To believe and know that we are forgiven!! We know that because God says that in His Word:
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Remembering that verse, as well as taking time to be in His Word, will help us to walk forward each and every day in trust, knowing that God has set us free and we can live in that freedom.

So Barnhill's bottom line: spend time in His Word, spend time with our Lord. And when we do this, a gradual change in how we see things will happen (renewing of our minds: Holy Spirit). And then we, with the Spirit's help, will start looking through eyes from God's viewpoint, rather than the way culture says things should be.

The Bible also teaches us things about our children, these being a few of them:

• they are blessings, not burdens
• assets, not economical liabilities
• are not here to fulfill us
• gifts from the Lord

God's view on children is vastly different than culture's view.

Barnhill then goes on in the chapter with what the Bible says about Good Mothers. Surprise, surprise!! It doesn't say anything about what a good mother looks like, but Scriptures definitely speaks about what a godly mother looks like!!

And what does a godly mother look like? One who has a personal relationship with the Lord, loves God fully, to everyday strive to be like Him, have a sincere faith that is demonstrated through her actions/words throughout the day. And there are many examples of godly women in the Bible.

Barnhill focuses on God's lavish grace - that is shown in His promises (which we read in His Word). His promises are that He will help us. And we have life in Jesus Christ! Which means we may experience joy in abundance! All because of God lavishing His grace on us. Barnhill then gives us a task: to see lavish as an action word, and so to lavish on our children!!

She ends with writing about seeing things in the light of Eternity, and not get caught up with the insignificant realities of everyday life, like spilt milk, "me" time (or lack thereof), and financial burdens of raising children.

In light of eternity, we will then be able to see our children, not irritating and burdensome, but irreplaceable blessings.

My Thoughts:
Well, it seems like every chapter I read, it becomes my new favourite chapter! And that is how I see this chapter as well. This chapter left me in tears - different tears than previous chapters. These tears were tears of asking for forgiveness, and then tears of gratitude. I am busy memorizing that 1 John 1:9 text, as it is a powerful one (like they all are :o).

I love how she encourages us and tells us point blank where we need to look if we truly want to change our parenting. And the only way to do this is through God. He is the only One who can change us. So, so true.

I know this. I know I need to spend more time with Him and His Word. Now, to do this consistently....(prayer point).

I also loved how she pointed out what we often replace the truths of God's Word with, and that is culture's opinion, peers, etc. I admit that I have also fallen in the trap of replacing these truths with well-meaning Biblical blogs, using them to measure my own parenting, rather than using Scriptures as my measuring stick.

I have to learn to not equate godly with perfect.

And I loved how she described the term 'lavish'. And I am glad she told us to lavish on our children. What fun it has been to do this!!! With her example of 'lavish' (icing on a cake), it has been easy to grab my children and snuggle with them (more than usual), to show to them that I appreciate them and love having them around me. As with anything, this lavishing can wane after a few days, but I hope and pray that I may continue to be generous in my love for my children. Because man, do I love them!!!

Your Thoughts:
What stands out to you in this chapter? What do you use to measure yourself up against, to see if you are a good mother? Could you relate to any of the examples she wrote of what a good mother looks like (an image we all make in our minds)? Is it hard for you to lavish on your children? Does culture influence you and your parenting? If you have a "devotion time"/routine, would you care to share it? I know, it may not work for everyone, but maybe someone who may be needing an idea of how to spend time with God will benefit from your routine.....

Prayer Points:

• thankful for His grace
• thankful for His lavishness on me
• ever thankful for His Word, the only measuring tool
• to help me to walk everyday in the knowledge that if I have confessed my sin in all sincerity, I am forgiven!!
• for the Holy Spirit to spurn me on in spending time with God and His Word
• to see my children as blessings - always - even when they make my day challenging
• to continue to grow as a godly mother, not a good mother
• to lavish my children knowing they are gifts from Him
• to live everyday in the light of Eternity

Next Time:
On Thursday, June 12th, we will look at Chapter 7 - Keeping Things Cool, as well as Snapshot 1: The Way We are.

Thanks for reading!!